Author: Lauras

Business As Usual

I am admittedly not much of a city person or a highway driver. I prefer the slow and go of the backroads. I enjoy looking at the scenery as I drive to my destinations. But, this morning, I drove through the inner city on my way back from a doctors visit. It made me sad to see the sheer poverty of it all. The closed businesses, and the run down buildings. It made me think, how do we get here? How do places like this end up in such dire straights? how do we fix it? Can it even be fixed? The first thought that came to my mind is — this is just business as usual.

Who is to blame for things ending up this way? I brought this up in discussion, with my husband, after arriving home. We talked about a little grocery store up the street from our house, owned by a neighbor. My husband talked about how they will let produce rot, instead of knocking down the price before it does. That is when I chimed in. Maybe we all are to blame and just do not want to say so, or take our part in the responsibility. Pointing the finger is so much easier, isn’t it?

First thing I said, was the small business person has to get better at finding the balance between earning a living, and doing right by their customers. Why not, knock down the price so the food doesn’t go to waste? Then again, waste means loss, and loss is good for writing off and lowering taxes. Broken items go back to distributors, who guess what, write them off as a loss on their taxes. And up the chain it goes.. Shaking my head, business as usual.

The second thing I said, is people need to support their local businesses, instead of going to the big stores and paying a cheaper price. And while I am talking about big stores, how did we end up in an era, where we say that businesses are to big to fail? How did we get to a place when a business requires a bailout from a government formed by the people, for the people? I suppose we can view it all as neighbor helping neighbor. Of course we are helping the employees, our neighbors. But, who is making the decisions, that are bringing about the failures? and where are they in the fixing process? Where is their financial, or otherwise, sacrifice for their bad decisions? How do they walk away with large sums of money?

And what is the governments part in all of this? Setting laws that may hinder competition, that have people creating losses to avoid taxation, that allow a business to become so large that its failure would be devastating, or that create laws that help one fraction of society – while hurting another. We just had a changing of the guard, so to speak, here in America. It was brought in with a call for unity. I will do what I do with every changing of the guard, have hope, give them opportunity to act, pay attention, etc.. Still or already, we see protestors causing destruction in multiple major cities; Portland, Seattle, Denver, etc.. I am saddened for the people who live in those cities, and wonder why it continues. When will it not be business as usual?

I am not much for a big anything. I think the bigger something gets, the more it is about its own survival and control, then it is about the service to the people. With that said, I suppose, I do not have any of the answers, and would like to depend on the goodness of us all to bring about change that needs to happen. Some of us taking risks again to follow our passions with a business. Some of us supporting that person in their endeavor. Some of us helping with clean up and rebuilding. Some of us kicking back crime, instead of letting it continue. Maybe finding new ways of punishment. You destroy a business, you help rebuild it. I hope one day our inner cities can flourish like they once did with small businesses. Maybe one day we will find a way to get there. What I do know right now, however, is business as usual is not working.

I suppose that is my thought on the subject, feel free to leave yours. Please try not to be critical, instead be constructive. Maybe all our minds and hearts together can find the solutions necessary. Until next time – peace out – love to you all.

New Year – Another New Me

For the last several years, I have written about not choosing a New Years resolution, instead choosing a word I try to live by for that year. In past years, I chose words like giving and joy. This year, after the year we just came through, and anticipating, expected or unexpected, things continuing to happen, I have chosen the word… Courage. You see, I have recognized that God, the universe, or whatever you believe in, has filled my life with people that have protected me in many ways, as I have loved so deeply and given my heart so freely. I could never ever be more thankful for them. Many are still in my life, most completely supportive of my efforts to still love freely, yet learn to protect myself at the same time. I will always need them, their strength, their guidance, and their support, however, I hope to continue to gain the courage to stand with them, instead of having them shield me.

As I chose my word this year, I came across a friend’s post that I wanted to share, because in my eyes, she is the epitome of my word. She has been battling cancer and was told that she had only a few years. I often wonder, who I would be, or what I would do given that same knowledge. She has been a picture of grace, joy, love, and courage. I truly hope she does not mind me sharing her words, as I think we all could use a good dose of what she wrote. She has been through one year, and posted this at the beginning of this year: “This is THE year… THE year that I am going to live life to the fullest.. THE year I am going to love unconditionally.. THE year that I am going to be brave.. THE year that I defy the odds.. THE year that I am going to continue to have faith and hope..”. My additional thought, I hope we all have the same THE year.

Last night, before I could find the time to come to write this, I was in a class in which one topic was our word for the year. A member of the class began chatting with me privately. In our conversation, I mentioned my word was courage. She asked “What do you think you need courage for”? I responded, “To speak up and stand up for myself at my job, when some are trying to push me down or hold me back, to write more often on my blog about things that raise my passion, to finish my book, and I think most importantly, to be unabashedly me.” In this class, we also discussed the number values of our year. I am in an 8 year according to astrologists. An 8 year is a year of perseverance, success, and energy. So my addition to my private chatter, was “maybe I need courage to not be afraid to succeed anymore, and courage to know my worth and be financially paid for it.”

I will leave you with this, I do not know what is to come in my year, but I will try my hardest to gain the courage to stand up to it, unabashedly and unafraid. Whether that be for myself, for someone else in my life, or for a complete stranger. May we all be courageous in the things that will come this year, and may we all face, with courage, the things that hold us back from being the beings of love, we were created to be. Love and light to you all. As always, feel free to comment, your thoughts are a welcome addition.

Christmas Eve Gift

In these days of materialism or commercialism, I think we all get lost in the true meaning of what should happen this time of year. Forgiveness, for one, also remembrance, reflection, reconnection, fun, and joy. Today I wanted to bring some of that back in and tell you of a little game, challenge, well I am not really sure what to call it, that my husband’s family has taken part in for generations. He spoke this morning, about how we are all of an older generation now, and the game is dying out. He said there are fewer and fewer of us playing now. So I thought I would bring it to you, along with a poem I wrote to the players for Christmas, some years back. Maybe some of you, might want to begin to play and teach it to your children for years to come. Simple things meant to bring laughter and fun should never die out.

Here is the story as I am told. Generations ago relatives of my husbands, would walk a country mile, or ride a mule to their closest relative on Christmas eve. They would approach the door, knock, and then duck out of sight. As the home occupants answered the door, out they would jump and yell “Christmas Eve Gift”. After a moment of laughter, they would all gather in the house and swap stories, happenings, goals, etc. over a nice hot cup of coffee, tea, or cocoa. Once the visiting was over, they would head home, to prepare themselves for the celebration of Christmas. I think in the simpler times, they realized we are the gift to each other. You to me and me to you. Time is so fleeting, yet so important when you are with those you love. How have we forgotten that?

As the years went by, generations changed, technology advanced, and family members moved to far off places. The face to face visits became harder to do, so the yell became a phone call away. So groggy or not, when your phone rings on Christmas eve at 5:30 am, you better be ready to tell the person on the other side; Christmas Eve Gift and be ready to chat about what’s new. A few years back we got a text telling us “Christmas Eve Gift”, we called that out of bounds. The purpose of the challenge is to get us to reconnect, even if over the phone, and even for 10 minutes. We must see your face or hear your voice.

I’ll leave you with my poem in hopes that someone out there, somewhere out there, someone will carry on a tradition and get back to the basics – realizing that time is the best gift we can give to each other. Why not add in a little fun, a little debate about the winner, and a catch up to the new happenings in our lives. From my heart to yours – A Christmas Eve Gift…. 

 
         Christmas Eve Gift
  
 The clock has struck the midnight hour
 The second hand ticks away
 Taking us to 12:01 am
 Of the day before Christmas morn
 With everyone acting peculiarly
 As if they have something to say
  
 From this point on, until the midnight hour
 When Christmas Eve slips away
 The phones will ring, and anything goes
 In a game we all love to play
  
 The players have changed over the course of the years
 But the game remains the same
 The quickest one, is who everyone fears
 So try to get me first
 Before I win the game
  
 The funny thing is there are no rules
 Or object to this game
 Bragging rights is what you win
 If you are the first to say: 
  
 “Christmas Eve Gift” 

 By:
 Laura Standrowicz        
 December 2004
  

Thankful Memories

As I begin to write this, two things come to mind: The first, that if you are in a country other than the United States, you may not celebrate Thanksgiving. It is a day that many here gather, with family and friends, to give gratitude for the many blessings they have in their lives. This year, whether by choice for the consideration of ones health, or fear of getting sick or passing on sickness, or giving up power to someone other than God and ourselves, we are a lot more separated. That does not mean, no matter where we are in this world, we cannot be thankful for blessings in our lives. The second thing on my mind, is the privacy of my family, when I choose to speak and write about things from my perspective. I hope to never dishonor them or to go too far in telling my truth that it causes them harm.

I woke up this morning thinking about my dad and reliving thankful memories. I suppose I inherited from my father, my ability to open up about my life and become very vulnerable in letting others know my story. As did he with strangers in grocery stores, at the beach, well just about anywhere. It drove my mother nuts, how he would tell complete strangers about his kids, and home, and the things that mattered to him. I suppose that is why I need to remember balance in divulging, and at the same time, keep my siblings in mind.

With that said, my father passed away four years ago one week before Thanksgiving. He had suffered from dementia and his heart was failing. That last year my siblings knew it had to be getting close, but no one knew when. I don’t know if the last several years were harder on them, having to caretake for him and watch him deteriorate, or on me so far away, wondering would this be the phone call he would not know who I was, or would this be the time I went home for a visit and I would be a complete stranger. I was fortunate that my father never forgot me. Even on that last visit, you could see him light up like a Christmas tree when I came into eyesight. He was no longer speaking then, but just watching our every move. The next time I came home, would be to say my goodbyes. My siblings and I discussed, how they wondered why my father held on for so long with a heart barely beating, and why he would die at that time. I told them I knew. You see, I had not spent one holiday with my family in years, possibly even decades. Dad knew he had to bring me home at a time when families gather and count their blessings. Although that was a sad Thanksgiving for us all, it was great to be home with my family; eating turkey and counting blessings.

Not being near or with my family again this year, I suppose dad is again bringing me to them in spirit. This morning I woke up remembering how my family would go to the mall, and my dad and I would sit on a bench, people watch, and wait for everyone to complete their shopping. I remembered crying when Frosty melted as a child, and watching my father cry when Frosty melted as he aged. I remembered him taking us on hikes in the woods, and teaching us how to figure eight, on ice skates, on the frozen lake in the winter. Some years he would even wet down our back yard just before a freeze, so we could skate in our own back yard. I would bring him his lunch at work, and be volunteered to run to pick up meals for his coworkers at the diner down the street. I remembered the many camping trips, and trips to the beach. And hopefully my mother will not get mad in heaven, but the trips to the local bar so he could have a beer and I could have a Shirley Temple.. Those were treats for us both. So many memories to be thankful for.

Now my life, like all of yours, has not been all roses. I am just trying to make a conscious effort to remember the good and throw the bad by the wayside. I will never forget the bad, as it has all been learning lessons for me. Even if the lesson is do not ever repeat this. So my hope for you today, is that you find a way to throw your bad memories by the wayside, and remember the good and be thankful. And if by some chance, you think there are no good memories, then I hope you try to make a good one today and tomorrow be thankful for it. Feel free to share some memories you are thankful for, if not with us here, than with someone who has your heart. Love and Light to you all – no matter where you are in this world.

What Is My Purpose??

I have been struggling this morning with how to begin this post. Truth is… I have said the same exact thing, in two separate circumstances, to two very different people this week. Now, as I was about to say it again, I thought maybe I needed to reach a broader audience. So here I am. I will tell you what it is that I said and then give you the circumstances in which I said it. To quote myself, “Many of us wonder what our purpose is on this planet. Our purpose is to affect those that we are supposed to affect, in the way we are supposed to affect them”. This is why I have a website that asks to keep it positive. I always want to affect someone in a positive way, a gracious way, if I can help it.

In the first circumstance, the person I was having a conversation with bluntly told me of the necessity of chaos, negativity, and darkness for balance. Is that the truth?? I do not know. Maybe it has been and does it still need to be?? I would like to think that we can be higher beings. Anyway back to our discussion. This person asked me why I was holding myself back. It was someone I could tell, although they said as much, who thought the job we were doing was beneath them. They began to talk about their purpose and their goals as being one and the same. Finding out my education, they wondered why I was not somewhere making more money, somewhere further up the chain. That is when I began to talk about the difference between my goals and my purpose, and the use of my entire skill set. I do not think they got what I was trying to say. Yet, I did take the opportunity to plant some seeds. One – never feel like you are too good for any job ever and two – never feel like you are better or above anyone else. You see I am learning discipline to achieve goals that I have set for myself. But, I am keeping in mind my actions, my reactions, and the words I use, in hopes of affecting those I am supposed to effect in a more positive way. I do usually love to quote the dictionary on meanings of words. This time the dictionary has the definitions of goals and purpose as far too similar. I wish to make the distinction between my goals on this concrete plane, and my purpose on this planet and in this universe on a soul level.

This leads me to my second conversation, in which I used that statement. There are a few people I work with; I call my soul sisters or my high vibers. I recognize them and their vibe as soon as I walk in the door. I do not even need to see them. A few days ago, I woke up with this dreadful feeling like insanity was trying to overtake everyone. A feeling of wondering how anyone is able to fight becoming mentally ill with the amount of blatant lies, negativity, chaos, lack of morality, etc. going on around them. One of these women stepped in front of me that morning and I just began to speak. I looked at her and said “I know exactly how you are feeling today, this is how I woke up feeling” and I proceeded to describe my morning. Her response “Oh My God – you see I have my headphones in today, to avoid contact with anyone, to shut out the entire negative”. I told her “do not do that, you do not know who needs you to be a light in their day, or who will be a light in yours”. I told her about my belief in what our purpose is. She then said “I was supposed to definitely hear you today”. We continued with our conversation a little longer both recognizing what we needed to hear from each other, both recognizing our purpose in effecting each other.

To the person I was going to comment to this morning, who posted that they were feeling hopeless, that they had the personality that they can save everyone. I hear you, I am the same. I realize, more each day, that I cannot also. It tears me up as well, as I cry for humanities sake. Your advice to just love on your loved ones that is going through something is sound advice. None of us feel like we are doing enough. I will add maybe we all just need to choose love period. Not say it, but do it. I want you and others to read what happened to me on that day I woke up with those feelings. Maybe it will help you feel less hopeless. Please know you will affect those that you are supposed to affect in this world. I just ask that you consider affecting them all in a positive way. Even if they do not receive what it is you are trying to get to them, plant the seed and walk away. What is supposed to happen to them will come about based on their own individual choices. That is all any of us can do and all we are supposed to do.

I am fortunate to be firmly grounded in my faith, and each day I am more recognizing the everyday miracles that are set before me. After awaking with the feeling I felt the other day, I prayed to my creator and I asked my spirit team to help rid me of such feelings. I also asked to have help in transmuting it to a positive energy before it was expelled from my person. Funny, how life is… the first person that approached me at work, was a customer that a few of us had helped a while back. He had been put in a situation that ended up in a court of law and this could very well have hurt him work wise. He gave me an update. Others who had been asking for something to change had backed him in this lawsuit. He came out the victor and his record remains clean. He had to make some new purchases, but things were getting back on track and he was doing well. He asked if I remembered him and said he just wanted to stop and thank me again for all I had done to help him in his prior situation. I held back tears in my first hour that day, but I so recognized that every single customer in front of me was giving me the best that humanity had to offer and was little by little removing this feeling from me in very positive ways. They all allowed me laughter, joy, gratitude, etc. before I knew it, that feeling was gone.

I will leave you all with this. Please consider how you affect others, and please try to affect them in positive ways. The rest is up to them and their choices.. Peace, love, and light to you all.

Mother/Child Reunion

As I awoke this morning, my head kept repeating; “Oh the mother and child reunion is only a heartbeat away”. I remember nothing else, but this. And like most humans my first thought went immediately to the negative. Crap… if my mother and my husband’s mother are both deceased, than which one of us is going to die? Then I said to myself, “Why do I think like that? Why does that have to be the thought? Why can’t I think it is more positive? Why didn’t I go to the spiritual instead of the physical?”

I suppose that was my first thought, because in my journey I am recognizing the programming that has been there my whole life. Click on the TV, computer, or phone, and see how much positive is out there. We live a life bombarded with negativity, and all of it effects our body, mind, and soul. And when we pass that forward, the damage we do to others is immeasurable. I am trying to refuse to do that here, bombard anyone with negativity. Maybe I am even trying an attempt at making myself and others whole again. Making an attempt to see possibility.

The more I thought about it, the more I said “if my mother is only a heart beat away, she must really be waiting for me to open my heart to her presence in my day”. She must be waiting for me to realize she is with me every step. I do not acknowledge that, as much as I do my dad. Just yesterday I told some customers that I am my fathers child. That like him, I will tell complete strangers my life story in ten minutes. He is the reason I say “I’ve never met a stranger, that wasn’t my friend”. There are things I love because of him. Things he used to do with us or taught us, like ice skating, investigating the woods, camping, sports, talking, walking, and the list could go on. Today I realized I do not give my mother as much recognition in my days. So if I do not invite her in, how could she be there??

It is entirely possible that I avoid bringing my mother into my days because I begin to feel heartbreak, and think of things I need to heal from, or she needs to heal from, or both. My heart breaks knowing that my mother’s childhood was robbed by a man who was supposed to love her. That meant we were not taught by her, some of the things we should have been. We were not shown some of the affection in ways we maybe wanted. I learned long ago that we still learned what we needed to from other sources, and maybe we still are. Speaking for myself, and getting over expectations, the affection I thought I needed, I received. Moving far away meant limited visits for many years. Then one day word arrives that her physical time on Earth was running short. I can still hear the hospice persons’s words ringing in my ears “there are very few human beings who could endure the amount of pain your mother is putting herself through to stay coherent enough to visit with you”. What would that do to your heart? Knowing your mother was enduring the unthinkable, AGAIN. My mother passed a month or so later.

Today I took a huge step and invited my mother in and yes I cried as I walked and relived some of those thoughts. But, then when I looked for the positive, I remembered something so so important. My mother used to invite children that she recognized in similar situations to her upbringing, or children less fortunate, or ones in dire need of some stability, into our lives. I guess I didn’t realize then, that even if my mother couldn’t change their life circumstances or outcomes, she could certainly provide them with moments of joy, fun, laughter, peace, and love. She could show them possibility. I came to that realization myself about ten years ago. A brief moment of any and all of those things injected into someone’s day can change the course of a life forever. Thank you mom for helping me remember this. Thank you for the much needed mother and child reunion. You have no idea how much it meant. I promise I will invite you in more often.

I will leave you with this dear readers; love is the one thing that never ever dies. Remember to let it in. The message it brings may just change your course. You may just be reminded of the things we should be bombarding each other with — joy, fun, laughter, peace, and above all else – LOVE.. If you have thoughts or comments feel free to leave them. Even better, feel free to start a positive conversation.

My Questions On Privilege – White or Otherwise

Dear Readers, I am here today because I read an article, that both a sibling and friend shared. The name of the article “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” written by Lori Lakin Hutcherson and published July 23, 2016. Here is the link: https://onbeing.org/blog/what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-opinion-on-white-privilege/ . I think it is a good article to read to enhance our perspectives and gain a little understanding. I have said twice in the last two days, “what I am learning in this life.. just when I think I know, I do not know”. I say this, as I am curious and believe that openness to learning anything and everything is essential. After reading the article, I had my own questions of Lori or anyone else who could answer them. It is my belief some of the things that have brought us here are our… fear, silence, anger, hatred, lack of kindness, and an extreme lack of forgiveness.

I will state for the record, for those that do not know, I am white. I have also tried to live a life in kindness, compassion, love, understanding, and respect. I know I have totally failed at times. Probably more often than I like to think or admit. Some will be shocked to read, that I have felt more times in my life, like I did not fit in anywhere. Maybe we all feel like that and just stay silent to that truth. In high school, I was never invited to anyone’s parties, why? I am not sure. But, although I had friends and/or acquaintances in the groups, as they liked to separate too, or were forced to separate too, I never really felt in any of them. I rarely did drugs or drank, I was smart and maybe even nerdy, played softball, sang in the choir, and marched in the color guard part of the band. Maybe I was a little bit of all of them, or not enough of any of them. It becomes clearer to me daily, that there are more people, that feel the same way, or have felt the same way. Maybe we all do. It is difficult to know and feel our own worth, in this world, and stand in that truth no matter what or who we are..

I will also say I have addressed, in a previous post, a similar topic, when someone whom I grew up with, told me “my white privilege” was showing. Her saying that, truly hurt me to the core. My intention was never to hurt her, and I hope she knows that. I would like to think my heart has always been in the right place. She and I have been separated for a long time, neither of us really knows the experiences of the other, this is why I have questions to anyone who can answer them, and why I started this blog. For us to find a way to put our anger, hurt, and hatred aside, and begin to know those same things in others. Or even better to celebrate the wins, the accomplishments, the joys, and find peace with others. Although others may feel it necessary to be heard or seen, I have never been a big fan of destruction, anger, or hatred bringing about change, because end result usually is someone else getting hurt. Is there a way to make the change from the positive and understanding?? Is there a way to make change without someone being hurt??

Back to my questions to the article: Can someone feel those same things that Lori felt from members of their own race, ethnicity, sex, religion, etc? I think I have and my husband as well. For sure we have felt them from people of an upper financial status.. My biggest question, however, and really one that may bring other questions up in the conversation: Can someone have White Privilege and still have experienced exactly or near exactly the same things as Lori but in reverse?

Here are a few of my examples:

Example one… In my late teens, on a bus trip to New York City, wandering about the city seeing as much as I could. I had heard about 42nd street and the area where New York has celebrated New Years for years. So I wanted to see it. As I got to the area, I proceeded to walk down 42nd street to see what it was like. About four blocks down or more, a man (not my race) put his hand on my shoulder and said excuse me miss. He was preaching on one of the corners. As I turned around, he asked me “what in the world are you doing here?” I suppose I had not noticed I was the only white person in a several block radius. I told him “I was just sight seeing”. He said “not in this neighborhood”. He told me to go back the way I came, to not look back, and to not take it slowly. Feeling afraid now, I made my way back to Times Square and carried on. Maybe my privilege thought I could go there? Maybe there wasn’t any privilege at all? And what exactly did he save me from?

Example two… In my mid twenties, I moved from one coast to the other. On my drive I wanted to see as much as I possibly could. One of those things was the St Louis Archway. I had no map, no directions, just kept driving towards it. Low on gas, and probably not too many blocks away, I stopped at a gas station to fill up. I had not noticed I was the only white person there, until I went into pay. As I asked the cashier (not my race) to start my pump, he said “Girl, what in the f__k are you doing here?” I responded “trying to get gas and see the Archway”. He said “get your gas and get the hell out of this neighborhood as fast as you can”. Afraid again, I got my gas and got back on the freeway, never did I make it to the Archway. What did he save me from? Was it feeling like Lori felt? or was it more harm?

Example Three… In my later twenties, I had a friend from work (also not my race). We would go out after work, either near work, or to a place I frequented. She had taken me to her home, her cousins home, her neighborhood. I had met her family and close friends. We shared a lot of love and laughter all of us. One day, she wanted to take me to where she frequently went. So we dressed up and made our way. The evening itself was nice. I was the only white person in the establishment, and several made their way over and introduced themselves. We danced and had fun. What I had not noticed, nor did my friend, is a group of about 8 to 10 women had gathered and were whispering among themselves. They had waited until we were ready to leave. They followed the two of us out, yelling for me to stop. They used racial slurs and called me every expletive in the book, among other things. My friend grabbed me and threw me behind her. She gave me directions to follow, to get me safely to the vehicle. She had put herself between me and the mob I will call them. Each step we took back, they took forward. She, with amazing courage, stood up to them and saved me at the same time. She apologized over and over and over again for putting me in harms way. She thought more of humanity as did I. I told her no apology necessary.. We knew love..

Today, my husband and I live in a predominantly black neighborhood, and we do have some that given the opportunity, blow their hatred our way. Others will apologize for the actions of their relatives, and friends. Living here, I have also experienced Lori’s truth, being pulled over in an auto we own. Truth is, I know they thought we were not white, but could not tell through the tinted windows. I know that it was every bit of wrong, wrong, wrong to be pulled over without committing a crime, or breaking a law. I also know my experience, was probably a whole lot different, then Lori’s husbands. So please do not think I am not willing to understand or hear truths that need to be told. Everybody has truths, and I think the creator knows what they are. I think we just need to share them with openness, kindness, gentleness, and love, and NOT hatred.

I would like to think that I have not viewed every officer, the way I viewed the one that pulled us over. I would like to think that I have not put people in groups or viewed them in that manner. Maybe I have and do not know it. Maybe, people group themselves out of fear, safety, compatibility, etc. I would like to think that kindness and respect go along way, and have tried to use them in many a situation. I have recognized those things from many others as well, like the two men in the first two examples. I think there is so much more to what each of us has experienced and maybe it is time to take each individual as they appear, to be kind to them, to respect them, to forgive them, and to love them. Maybe it is time to see each other as God sees us – perfect in who we are.. What are your thoughts??

# Girl On A Plane

# Girl On A Plane our conversation has been ringing in my ears for days now and I wonder how you must be feeling and doing in the chaos that surrounds us. I hope you are well and still effecting people in the same way you effected me. It saddens me to see that when much of the world appears to be finally in solidarity on a given cause, hate, anger, crime, destruction, and even murder overshadow the unity that exists. Maybe they just highlight that we may not be as unified as we think or would like to hope.

I wish that everyone can have a conversation like we had. That everyone could hear the truth you told “That if you called me a racist, then you would be racist too or vice versa.” Reinterpreted – the point being was that we each needed to stop seeing our outer shells and what made us different and begin to recognize the light that shines in us both and burn that as bright as we can. I would like to hope that my blogs out here have had a positive effect on people’s lives. Maybe in some small way, a chance for people to look at themselves and become the change they want to see. In my personal realm, I see the positive shining like a beacon. I continue to offer it, and receive it in return. I am learning not to believe what I am fed anymore, but I wonder how long it will take the mass to join me. We have all suffered in our own ways, we have all rejoiced in our own ways. Why is that so hard for us to see in each other??

As I sit here watching a media telling me that the protests are mostly peaceful as cities burn, business are ransacked, people are killed trying to protect their lively hoods, their families, their communities, I search for the truth. Are there peaceful protests? Yes.. What is the change that the protesters seek? and where do they seek it? Does anyone really know? Can the majority of us find forgiveness for ourselves, and each other, for the sins of our past, present, and future, to join together, before the evil burns everything to the ground? I sure hope so.

I live trying, these days, to not allow big government, big business, big religion, big celebrities, and big media have enough power over my thought process, and emotions, that I am blinded to factual data. I believe we all have been hoodwinked for a long time and our emotions keep us from seeing clearly. I believe we have all been fighting to find, know, and feel what our worth is and to walk in the knowledge that we are all worthy. I’m learning every day and redefining everyday the terms love and light. Facts matter, but does anyone care what they are anymore. Tell a lie becomes the truth.

I fear we will be in these rocky times for some time, that what is true and factual may be harder and harder to define. Your truth may not be mine, but I will continue to be the light of love I was created to be through it all. We need that now more than ever. I will hope that we will find the answers to where we go once the chaos is settled down. And I truly hope that it is in the direction of loving our neighbors as ourselves.. Be well #Girl On A Plane – I hope you will respond with your thoughts — and to all the rest of you, your comments, add ins, etc. are also welcome here.

My Vote Should Count

So today I want to address something that was said recently that scared me, and really should scare any individual, in any country around the world, that allows for voting of elected officials. The quote was “For precisely this reason the President’s misconduct cannot be decided at the ballot box, for we cannot be assured that the vote will be fairly won”. I do realize the context in which this was meant. That the allegations are that the President asked a foreign entity to look into something involving an opposing candidate. Let me ask you, was it not the same thing when a national committee paid for information from foreign sources to go after a then opposing candidate?? And then used and lied about that information to allow surveillance of the opposing candidates campaign?? Or when our elected officials or former Presidents interject themselves or their opinions into elections in other countries?? What is correct? What is not correct? What is right? What is wrong? And more importantly, where do we go from here?

Let me tell you in the asking of these questions, I am getting what information I am inquiring about from watching congressional hearings, and reading released governmental documents, requested through the freedom of information act, or official documents released from foreign governments, or both. I do watch all media to see what they are saying, including some foreign. But long ago lost faith in a great deal of media, as I watched them continue to feed me, what they wanted me to know, sometimes found to be completely out of context, when I went back to do my homework.. There are some people I completely follow, as every time I have done my homework, I have found in the research that they have told me information in integrity and allowed me to think for myself.

Back to that quote, what I really want to say, is that my whole life and probably yours, President’s misconduct, character, prior voting records, integrity, possible religious beliefs, etc. etc., have always been a thought or a consideration to me when I enter a ballot box. So are you then saying to me, that I am not smart enough, or awoke enough, or enlightened enough, to discern for myself who I believe is someone I want in office. Is that what you are trying to tell me?? That I cannot be trusted to decipher for myself all the information?? Or are you afraid that we all might wake up to the fact that you have been keeping us in the dark and trying to uneducate us for generations?? Is Richard Dreyfuss not correct in fighting to put civics back into the American Education System?? I am so with him. As an example, I will say I asked someone yesterday a question about the writing of America’s National Anthem, and although they did have some knowledge, the most important, poignant part of the history, the loss of human life, they had no idea about.

Maybe you are trying to make me aware of the continued computer hacking, and/or data breaching, of large technology companies. Some of which, have admitted to paying some of these hackers. Maybe you are afraid of someone hacking into the computer systems used in our electoral process. Well then, I guess it is a good thing, that I still get a paper ballot that I fill circles in with my pen, that can be looked at and counted without the use of a machine or technology. Maybe you are truly concerned about the process, I am just writing to let you know that my heart, my brain, and my soul, fear that you are not.

So my last question, are you telling me that you are going to remove my vote?? For if an election cannot be decided at a ballot box, where then does it get decided?? And who then become the kings/queens/dictators/controllers that take that decision away from me. I am here to stand to tell you that my vote should count, and the votes of every human on this planet, who vote in elections should also count. I beg of all people, read and get to know the Constitutions in your States and Countries, get to know what people in power say your rights are. Remember however, that whatever has given you life, has also given you a brain to learn, grow, and decipher, and a heart to love, feel, and sometimes hate, I ask you to choose and use those things wisely. Some already do not have the luxury others have. I will end here and ask you for your thoughts. I ask you also to make them positive, and constructive, and be willing to read and/or hear what others have to say. For only when we are willing to walk in someone else’s shoes can true change begin. Until next time, much love and light to you all..

An Attitude of Gratitude

Hello all.. I’m back and still trying to change bad habits and break old cycles. Wondering when will I learn. I suppose I am still trying to find my path, where I fit in, and what it is I should be doing. Or knowing what all that is and still not making the necessary changes to achieve success. I have been out here so infrequently, as I admittedly, am having a hard time learning how to find balance between work, home, relaxation, and passion. Truth is I enjoy being around people, having discussions with people, making them think, laugh, smile, etc.. With my job I get that person to person direct, and recognize what is needed from them to me and vice versa.. Other parts of my job, however, bring me to emotional places I do not enjoy at all. Yesterday, was one of those days. Sadly, even my peeps, I like to call them, could not raise me up to a better place.. It was a non-joyous struggle that I eventually did make through. I am sure many of you can relate.

When I think about yesterday, I say to myself “I wish I could have been more grateful for the day I was given”. Then I remembered a discussion with a coworker last week. She was having an awful day, and I said “try to be thankful for something and you may find your day getting better”. Her reply “I have nothing to be thankful for”. To which I said “how about the fact you were able to get out of bed this morning, start there”. My own words coming back to bite me in the….. Well you know.

This morning, I got back to something I have been failing at lately; writing in my gratitude journal. I learned a few years ago, the necessity, in taking time to write at least five things I am grateful for each day. Doing this brings me to a better place; to a place of recognition of all the positives, of all the possibilities, and to a place of love, peace, joy, and harmony. You will not believe how starting your day this way can open your eyes to a brand new world. May I suggest, if you do not do it already, you give it a try.

For those who have never done it before, I thought I would share with you what today’s were for me. Remember nothing is too small or too large, it is all about your heart space and putting it in a better place. You will be surprised how quickly five turns into ten, and so on. Doing this helps you to see more, to be more, and to do more. It even helps you to recognize when you are swaying away from the positive and more quickly puts you back on path. So glad I made a course correction this morning, it brought me to a heart space of doing something I love, writing for all of you to read, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

So my five for today: First, and foremost, I thanked God (my creator, universal source, whatever your name for him/her is) for another day full of possibilities – a blank slate for me to write or draw on. Second, I thanked God for helping me to hold my tongue last night – for the self control to not speak some things I knew I would regret later. Third, I thanked God for my husband. He takes care of me in more ways than I like to admit – housework, yard work, cooking, cleaning… what doesn’t he do. Forth, I thanked God for the courage to stand up for myself more often. For the ability to speak my truth, and yet still be open enough to hear someone else’s. And fifth, last but certainly not least, I thanked God for my creative spirit – the song in my voice, the dance in my step, and the love and joy in my heart.

These were my five today. Your’s can be far simpler and more material if you are a beginner. When I first started, it was my morning coffee. Some days it still is. You are invited to share yours with all of us if you so desire. If you are not ready for that, it is my hope that you will at least consider starting somewhere. Trust me I have met people who are so worn down by life that it was a struggle to come up with one. Some people I have helped recognize their first one and then off to the races they went. I am so okay with baby steps in right directions or more positive directions. Try it, you just may like it, and you just may see that there truly is a light at the end of a dark tunnel. It may take some time to traverse it, but the attitude of gratitude, does illuminate the dark tunnel to make for easier passage. I hope you find that out for yourself. Until next time…. Light, Love, and Gratitude. Tomorrow I will be thankful for you.