Author: Lauras

The lion’s share of courage…

As I sit here and think of two people who have had a presence in my life and their current battles for survival and wellness, I cry tears of sadness for the struggles I know nothing about, but can only imagine. My tears are for their weight in the battle and for their family’s and closest friend’s weight as well. One word comes to my mind during this process; and that is courage. What it must take in strength and all else to stand up to a formidable foe. Thank God they are not alone in their battles. Of course, if we all learn to share, no matter what, then none of us are really alone in our battles. But I digress.

As Merriam-Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary puts it, courage is the “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”. Sometimes when we know others are fighting battles like these, we can think ourselves not to be courageous at all. Matter of fact, I wrote something a long time ago about how weak I felt I was. It sometimes is a daily struggle to not feel this way. I would suppose this to be true for all of us. The joy of life, when we share it, is there is always someone, even when we think there is not, to share our burdens with, to help us carry our load, or to lift us up and show us how courageous we really are.

We often equate courage to heroic events or types of people. For example, the people who give their lives, in events such as mass shootings or terrorist attacks, to protect someone they love or complete strangers. Or firefighters doing their jobs running into the blaze to try to control it, when everyone else is running out. Our military, who most say are courageous just simply for volunteering to protect and defend our Constitution and way of life. These are all great examples of courage. They are all very easy to see and define. I want to talk, however, about the word on a broader scale; on a day-to-day – you and me scale.

I have friends that live in places where crimes happen nearly every minute. To me they are courageous for simply living in that situation. They also are courageous in their battle to try to better themselves so as to not stay there. The people who willingly live there and stay there in their attempts to bring change to these places for sure are courageous. A marathon runner who feels like dropping to the ground at mile 20, but continues on to finish the race; you guessed it courageous. I could go on indefinitely in my examples of what courage looks like. And I know you could add many more as well.

Courage, however, is not who we are, but rather what we become in those moments when we make the choice to stand up to an adversary. For each one of us that adversary could have a very different meaning. I become courageous when I put myself out here as I struggle to find confidence. Those who are tongue-tied become courageous when they stand in front of us to let their voice be heard. The boy in grade school who finally stands up to the bully; courage. We may even be shocked that the bully became that way because he was trying to stand up or survive a bigger bully. And as unpopular as this is going to be for me to say, when the world is standing and you kneel to be heard, there is courage in that as well.

So today before we let our strong opinions get in our way, and by the way there is definitely courage in letting some of those go, maybe we can take a moment to think about what thing we did today that required us to have our own courage. After that, maybe whether we like the way it was used or not, we can recognize the use of it in others. If nothing else, we should be able to find some common ground in that we all have it and we all use it.

I always ask you to participate in this journey so that we can get to know each other. I know you participate by reading, and hope one day your participation will add commenting. I will truly love when that day comes. So if it be today that you found your voice, let us know, what required you to have courage today? or how did you apply it in your daily life? Inquiring minds really do want to know.

 

 

 

To Speak, To Listen, To Be Silent…

In high school I had a teacher that had us memorize a quote. At any time during our school year, we could, and would be called on to recite this quote verbatim, including punctuation. If we missed a comma, we were told to sit down, and would be called again at a later date. I, for one, never forgot this quote. Over the years I have discussed it with some old classmates and most of them have not forgotten it either. Although we can recite it to this day, I wonder how many have really stopped to think about what it says. I know I have never sat down and really contemplated what it said, until now. The quote he put on the board and had us memorize is as follows: “If all mankind, save one, were of one opinion, and that one, were of a contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one, than that one, would be justified in silencing mankind.”

Upon researching to verify the validity of the quote, I found a few things. The quote is by John Stuart Mill from On Liberty published in 1859 and Wikipedia says “On Liberty is a philosophical work by English philosopher John Stuart Mill, originally intended as a short essay.” The quote itself I also found was slightly different, however, interpretation pretty much the same. http://www.goodreads.com has the quote as “If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.”

This quote had me thinking about The Bill Of Rights and more specifically the First Amendment to the US Constitution – “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances”, as well as, today’s state of affairs. Watching some of the things going on in today’s society, I can not help but wonder, are Americans ignorant to the words of this First Amendment? Do they have no moral compass? Do they not know right from wrong? good from evil? is it both? or all of the above? Are they using these words in selfish ways? All I know is I am not sure I can wrap my mind around any of it and will continue to search for healing.

Although I would like to address every part of the First Amendment, especially the freedom and power of the press and the truth I think should come along with that, addressing every part of it in context with the goings on these days could take multiple posts and a great deal of time. So, I will only briefly express some thoughts in context with the quote about silencing. So my first thought is about hate speech and safe spaces. Though I might not like a certain amount of what people say, who am I to define their speech as hate? Who decides that? Do we as a complete society define that? In my lifetime, if I had not liked what someone had to say, I have either not listened or I have let them speak and then addressed my feelings back to them once they were done. In doing the latter I have found that in most cases, we found an agreeable place somewhere in the middle. If it was a speaker and there was to be no back and forth, I lifted myself up and left the premises. I have found that if someone is spewing hate and their audience leaves, then there is no one left to spew to. As far as safe spaces go, if they are places to meditate, to de-stress, to calm, to express positive thoughts than I guess in some respects we all have those. However, if they are a place to congregate and have like minds spew their hate or suppress the views of others, then is that not silencing the one who has no power? If there is no respect, where is the line between freedom of speech and right to assemble? Or should there be one? I continue to search for reachable agreeable solutions to such situations. Can we find them here? I do not know.

My second thought comes with listening and keeping silent. We will never rid our society of hate, as we all have it in us, and the choice to express it. However, maybe if we are willing to listen to each other, to really hear each other, than maybe together we can help heal the source from where the hate comes. Also, when I talk about keeping silent, I speak of doing it when we should be screaming from the rafters. As we have the right to choose to be silent, should we be doing such in the face of harm happening to ourselves and others. My heart believes this is the open wound that starts and perpetuates the hate in the first place. Everyday I try to figure out what is the balance and when is it right for me to speak, when is it right for me to listen, and when is it right to remain in silence. I think I am learning that when it all comes from the place of good, from the place of love, from the place of innocence, than I will know exactly when it is the right time for each of these. And to John Stuart Mills, who I believe understood this, there has to be morality brought in to the equation. For he knew, as I know, we all need each other; we just have to realize that.

I have always invited you along and today will be no different. So if today you decide to share of yourself, a story or thought, I ask that you have it come from a place that will help us all heal, not from a destructive place.

 

Las Vegas Bound…

While the recent tragedy put Las Vegas, Nevada front and center in our lives, I would like our thoughts to stay there in a more positive light. Sometimes events like these can cause us to fear visiting these places. So along with wanting us to continue to pray for the victims, and provide love and support to their families and the city; maybe we can consider visiting when we get a chance. It just so happens I was there two weeks prior to this event looking for something to do; besides gamble. Although I did do some of that and well let’s just say, I did not leave with a big pocket full of change. Instead, I asked a few people who used to live there, for some advice on places I could see. They provided some great ones and well I thought I would pass them on.

First, let me start by saying, if you are a city person, then you will love a city that never sleeps. There is enough to do to keep your brain active and your adrenaline going; gamble, shop, see a concert, watch a show, wine and dine, view the venues, ride some rides, zip line, take a walking tour, and I could go on and on. If you are, however, exactly like me and prefer your life a whole lot calmer, there are places within reasonable distance to visit to slow down the pace for a short while. This way you get the best of both worlds; a night on the town and a day out with nature. Sadly, because I was in Las Vegas to work that was all I had – a day, and I made it well worth my while. The pictures I will provide do not do either place justice based on the only available camera I had at the time, but maybe you can imagine the same view in deeper, richer hues.. Keep in mind you could do this in reverse. Make your stay out in nature and take excursions into the city.

So on my day off, I started my day early and headed 35 miles Northwest of the city to Mt. Charleston. According to Wikipedia – “Charleston Peak is at 11,916 ft. and is the highest mountain in both the Spring Mountains and Clark County, Nevada. It provides both hiking trails and ski area”. On my way up, I decided to bypass The Resort on Mt Charleston, which you can check out by clicking on the link – https://www.mtcharlestonresort.com/?campaign=yahoo, and instead continued my trek upward to 7,717 ft. to have breakfast at the Mt. Charleston Lodge. If you wish to check that out here is a link – www.mtcharlestonlodge.com. There are some small cabins to stay in adjacent to the Mt. Charleston Lodge owned by a different proprietor. Snapping a few pictures from here I could only imagine what it would be like in winter, snugly warm in the cabin, looking out at the majestic snow-covered mountains.

About 3 hours after my arrival and taking in the sites and breakfast, I began my trek downward and toward another beautiful location about 30 miles west of Las Vegas called Red Rock Canyon. You can check it out here – www.redrockcanyonlv.org. Among other things, this website tells you about the features “a one-way 13 mile scenic drive, hiking and trails, plants and wildlife, geology, camping, and more”. It was 52 miles and roughly 1-1/2 hours between the two destinations and I still had plenty of time to enjoy the canyon and make it back to my hotel before dark.

I decided to take the 13 mile scenic drive and exited my vehicle at every stopping point on the drive to do a little walking in the canyon, sure to keep my eyes peeled for rattlesnakes and scorpions. Partly, because I love wildlife and love to see it in its natural environment and partly for my own safety. Lucky me or unlucky me, as far as the wildlife is concerned, still undecided, only thing I caught was some really spectacular views. As you can witness here:

Though these were my two choices in the limited free time I had to look around, there are many others you can take excursions to on your next visit to Las Vegas. Just to name a few; Hoover Dam – Hoover Dam – is 30 miles southeast of Las Vegas, Lake Mead – www.nps.gov/lake – is 26 miles east of Las Vegas, and Valley Of Fire State Park – http://www.valley-of-fire.com/ is 50 some odd miles northeast of Las Vegas.

So the next time you are in Las Vegas and have some time to roam, keep these gems in mind, or add your own. Either way it goes I hope you enjoy adding some busy to your calm or calm to your busy, just remember to try to keep the balance.

What is the truth??

I have had many conversations in the past few days about teachers and students, facts, positions of authority with microphones or platforms, emotions, anger, insults, and I could go on further. All of these led me to believe we were all ignorant to some extent. So I was going to do a post on ignorance, which Oxford’s Dictionary defines as “lack of knowledge or information”. But then last night someone said to me “no people are thinking and they need to stop”. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. People were trying to become knowledgeable and were seeking information, that that was not the problem. The problem was finding the truth.

But, what really is the truth?? In the conversations I have been having on a political level, I have learned that some get their facts from the communication level. They get them from people they trust, great orators, people in positions of power and authority, or people with nationwide or worldwide platforms. While others are skipping the communications channels and viewing historical documents, scientific research, and reading legislation. Is either side wrong? Neither side thinks they are. That is why we are so divided. Bringing us together will come when both sides are ready to realize that the truth is, both sides do not match. For example, if the orator says he is for universal health care, but then gives subsidies in his legislation to large private insurance companies – what is the truth? Or if an orator, does just the opposite says he is for free market health care, but then creates a monstrosity like Medicare – what is the truth?  I do not even know how to answer that at this level, I am still searching for it everyday. But, I came to a conclusion that the truth begins with me looking internally and starting at the beginning.

Whether we believe that we were created by evolution, or by a higher power – A God, or both, I think really does not matter, as much as we realize that when we were created we had a balance of good and evil. I believe that the truth and our acceptance of it, lies in that balance between knowing what is right and what is wrong and knowing when we expel them both into the world. Take for instance when we help an elderly person across the road. We intrinsically know that it is not only right, but good, by the way it makes us feel like we have helped humanity is a small sense. Or on the opposite spectrum we yell at the waiter because our food is not cooked properly. We intrinsically know that it is not only wrong, but evil, also by the way it makes us feel at the end of the day. Did the waiter have anything to do with cooking our food? no. Did yelling at the waiter change anything? Did it make you feel good? Probably not. It probably took some time for the anger and disappointment to subside. When we start applying that thought process to our daily lives, I think we will find at minimal our own truth.

Once I started there and could recognize when I was knocking somebody down as opposed to lifting them up, then I could begin to recognize some of the conditioning and intolerance I had been taught, even self-taught. I was about to use the words “trust me”, but really trust yourselves. Instead, I will say in my experience sometimes awareness and recognition are not that easy to see or obtain is a better word. All I know for sure is it all begins with the choice I make to the side of the balance scale I want to go. And there in lies the first real truth. Where do we go from there? I do not know. But, my heart believes that the mass of humanity really just wants to be able to make that same choice for themselves everyday. But, the conditioning and indoctrinating is getting in the way. I will continue to hope that we all individually find a way to burn through that conditioning and indoctrinating to find our basic beginning truths. And that when we do we realize that that is what freedom is, the ability to choose our truth – for is that not what every person wants – to be free?

May we all search for the truth. The ones within ourselves, the ones in our daily lives, and the ones that effect the masses. I will continue my struggle to find it at all levels from now until I guess I depart this world. But one thing I can tell you for sure, is when you visit me here I will always express to you what I believe to be my truth no matter the subject. As I like to be the light in people’s lives and not the darkness, I will also try to make it on the good side of my scale, but I can not make any promises. Feel free to leave your thoughts. But know that someone’s truth may be coming off the evil side of their scale. Please try not to let it bother you, but to recognize it for what it is – their truth at that moment.

 

Be Who You Are…

The comment to my last post and my reply have been weighing heavy on my mind the last few days. As I was sensing anger in the commenter, I replied that I was allowing the comment to go through and then added a but. I mentioned being honest in that reply. So if I am, then my reply was simply in my wanting to possibly tone down the anger. My fear is that anger leads to hatred and hatred gets us nowhere. Hence, my homepage saying I wanted a positive environment for everyone. Even my significant other tells me quite often “you cannot be positive all the time”. No you cannot and I do get angry. But I suppose, I try very very hard to suppress it and release it in a more positive way. So in replying the way I did, I have been questioning myself, was I allowing him to be who he was? I want him to know it was not my intent to even remotely try to stifle that in him-If I did. Because to his point, this is my page and I have power here. I suppose I am trying to find balance as I listen, try to absorb, and change in ways that I need to.

Those thoughts led me to something else he said. That was that discussions needed to be had. I 100% wholeheartedly agree with that, they do. I also believe though hatred and anger need to be toned down as well. But how and where do we begin. I hear constantly people saying “discussions need to take place”, “we need to heal each other”, “we need to love each other”, among other things. Every post I make, I invite you all along and I invite you to have a voice and to participate. Then I wonder why you are not? Do you not have time? Do you not want to be heard? Do you not want to be part of a solution? Do you not like me? or the things I say? Are you afraid? I hope to one day find out the reasoning, as for now I will continue to be as authentic of myself as I can be and continue to ask you to join me. I know you will when you are ready. I am so thankful for the ones that do. They make me more hopeful everyday that there are people ready to be who they are and let their voice be heard – whether they are angry or not.

These last few days I have also thought about a couple of things that I experienced in the last few months. The first, a new person brought into my life. He is from a country that experienced a genocide and survived it. We had many discussions about the why it happened, the how it happened, the who it happened to, the changes that came about from it, as well as, thoughts about this country; its great accomplishments, its triumphs, its biggest disappointments, and failures. I was able to see the perspective of someone not born in my country and I shared my perspective as someone who was born here. There is a lot to learn when we take the time to get to know each other. But knowing each other has to start with authentically being who we are and to not be afraid to share that. Matter of fact, on a humorous note, he asked me if everyone in Texas wore jeans and boots all the time, even in 100 degree heat. Well that lets you know my attire for the entire week we spent learning about each other. I said no, believe it or not, there are women in Texas that actually wear dresses, skirts, flip-flops, high heels, etc. I told him, sadly or not, that I was unfortunately not one of them women. That I thought most people dressed for others and that I preferred to dress for comfort. I told him for the most part I was not afraid to wear my boots with shorts, skirts, dresses, you name it – they are so comfortable. He laughed. I would like to hope I made a friend. But if he was only supposed to be put in my life for a brief moment, then I will cherish the discussions and the things I learned and took away from them.

The other, a project I was asked to take part in. I absolutely did and loved the idea of it in the first place. A great-nephew is on his way to college. Embarking on that journey that takes us from childhood into adulthood. The project involved us writing our thoughts, stories, poems, quotes, words, words of encouragement, memories, etc.. Anything we wanted to write and leave for him. They were all put in a jar and given to him as he graduated from high school. He has read them all and I hope he keeps them forever and takes them out periodically. I find it interesting to see how much we change, have changed, or are changing; I hope he does too. Because I have been away from my family for a long time, although the memories are great, they tend to be few. So I decided to provide things I’ve learned and thoughts of my own journey. One of the things I wrote to him was “Be Who You Are”.  For me and maybe all of us that may constantly change as we learn and experience things. I wanted him to read those words because it took me a long time in life to not only be that, but far more importantly appreciate that. Just as important, there have been people brought into my life at different junctures, that in their own way tried to get those words across to me. I will be forever thankful for them and appreciative of the life lesson learned as I hope he will be also.. I have no doubt that he will.

So I think my thought is that all of the healing needs to start with us individually being who we are, while also allowing each other to also be that. And as I release the weight that has been burdening me the last few days, I make a promise to try to step back and let you all be that, even if that is angry. I will do my best to try to dispel the difference between anger and hatred and ask that when and if you come you leave the latter at the door. I will also continue to bring you who I am and do my best to try to be part of the solution and not the problem. And when you are ready, when you find your voice, those of us here or at least I, will welcome you with open arms and will be excited to get to know you and hear what you have to add to the discussion.. If you just want to keep reading for now, that is okay and I thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say and for your interest in trying to get to know me.. Whether this is the time you add or not, please remember to “Be Who You Are” because no matter what anyone says — that person is wonderful and awesome…..

Is the kneeling helping our healing???

Where do I begin with this post? I have tried and am trying to stay away from topics that are truly divisive on my blog, but maybe I am not supposed to. Maybe I am supposed to bring us together to talk about them open and honestly and more importantly positively. For we cannot heal while our heels are so dug in. We cannot heal while we are so set on what we believe. People have truths. And I cannot help heal your truth and you cannot help heal mine if we refuse to let what each other is saying penetrate to our ears and our hearts. I have heard and seen more times in a day people saying and typing the words “you are not going to change my mind”. Well maybe it shouldn’t be about changing minds as much as it should be about changing hearts. But, maybe also if minds are open change might not be a bad thing. I’m not saying throw what you believe out the window because I have beliefs of my own, but I am saying maybe if we open our hearts and minds to others beliefs then maybe just maybe there is a place in the middle for all of us..

With that said, in the NFL kneeling debate, as someone who firmly believes in the Constitution and other founding documents, I wholeheartedly believe in everyone’s first amendment rights. However, I am not sure that the time and place of the protest is appropriate. A large faction of people use sporting events, concerts, plays, comedy venues, etc. etc.. as places to unwind from a hectic work week, or to escape from their daily grind. They view them as an entertainment addition to their stressed out, overworked, underpaid lives. They do not want to have to face politics, or other ills of this world when they go to such things. Those are some of the things they are trying to escape in the first place. To do it also during the playing of the anthem that is representation of our country could have others thinking that you do not love the country you live in. I’m sure we can all agree that there are and have been moments in this country were evils and wrongs have prevailed. There have been and are prevailing wrongs and evils in every other country in the world, as well, for that matter. To cure them, however, requires forgiveness, understanding, compassion, faith, trust, and love to name a few. Only when we are willing to give of all of these will we make progress.

Some say our founding documents are flawed. Maybe they are, but then again maybe they are not. History teaches us that America was the grand experiment. The coming together of people who lived oppressed lives, who were not free to do as they pleased. So they started anew where “We The People” would have some say so – some power. But in trying to forget the evils of a growing nation, instead of forgiving them, we erase huge parts of history or we skew it. When we do this, how do we prevent generations that follow from making the same mistakes? How do we prevent ourselves from making the same mistakes? In speaking of history, I thought maybe I could start this conversation with a video of the history of the writing of our National Anthem from YouTube with David Barton a historian telling the story. Along with the actual four verse poem that became it, which I found at www.freerepublic.com. I have asked several people in the last few days if they have either seen, heard, or read either of these. The response has always been no. So I hope I am able to attach the video for you all to see and paste the poem for you all to read.

THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:
‘Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep’s pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

I am someone who is glad that I was not at Fort McHenry taking numerous days and nights of bombing and as such will decide to stand and show respect to the flag that represents the nation that many have died for. What you choose is what you choose. And I also am someone who will gladly listen to and try to help solve or at minimal understand that which you feel the need to protest. Maybe, if we calmly speak and hear each other we can find solutions together. First, however, I think we need to forgive the past for if we continue to choose to live there, we will not move forward.. Personally, I think we have come along way and know we have further to go, but if you are willing to ride along so am I.. As always, I have never wanted this a one way conversation, so please join in it with respect and an open mind, heart, and soul — Please Let’s Learn From Each Other and Help Heal Each Other.

 

It’s all about cars…

As Texas continues to recover from Hurricane Harvey, and Florida from Hurricane Irma, a conversation arose in my household about the vehicles that were completely flooded in both storms. I live with someone who has firsthand knowledge of what happens to vehicles when events like these happen. So in days to come, if purchasing a vehicle, or parts, it would be a good idea to make sure you do your homework.

The conversation began as I asked what happens in an event like this. The first part of the response was it depends on whether or not the vehicle was insured. I found out that if the vehicle was not insured, the owner can do with it what he or she likes, including selling it. The right thing for these people to do, would be to let the purchaser know that the vehicle has been flooded. Sadly, not everyone does what is right. So it is best to always know the history of any vehicle you buy.  Unless of course, you are a mechanic and don’t mind a rebuild.

Second part, if the vehicle was insured, than like any vehicle in an accident the process begins with an adjuster. This adjuster verifies the vehicle and checks for damage or declares it a total loss. Total losses are sent to an auction facility where they prepare the vehicle for auction. Vehicles go to the auction block after the claims are processed and title is received. At the auction, vehicles are bought by salvage yards, used car dealers, exporters, metal recyclers, and yes possibly even individuals. Vehicles coming through this process are supposed to be sold as is with notification of flooding. It is against the law to not notify the buyer. Vehicles do not normally go to the crusher until all useful parts have been pulled. I found this whole process interesting and thought maybe you would too. Hence why I am passing it on.

Learning about this whole process had me questioning my knowledge of vehicles. I have had some fortune in this area. I grew up with a brother that could take anything apart and put it back together. He and I worked on my first vehicle together quite often. He taught me how to check my distributor, gap a spark plug, change my distributor cap, plugs, and plug wires. He also taught me how to check my timing, check my radiator and oil, how to change my oil and filters, how to change my tires and check the tread depth, and we even changed out the exhaust system on that thing. Fast forward to current time, I still have a car guy in my life. Thus, for a number of years I have had someone to do the work for me. And there in lies the problem. We get so caught up in life that we allow others to do things for us when they have the ability and then we forget how to do any of it ourselves.

With that said, because I have not had the hands on experience for a number of years, I began to try to take refresher courses I’ll call them. So in recent years, anytime he has said “do you want to go to the car show?”  well yes of course is my reply. Going to these shows allows me to learn a little about motor sizes, horsepower, automatic transmissions, manual transmissions, nitrous oxide, paint jobs, tire sizes, rims, and so on and so on. He may have just gone there to look, but I am full of questions. What year is that one? What size motor is that? Why would you put a scoop on a vehicle like that? How does the hydraulics work? By the end, I am sure he regrets inviting me. At the last show I got to eye my dream car – a 1965 Mustang fastback. Now that dream may not have come true, but I will not complain as we do have a 1966 Mustang – 2 door coupe – hardtop – 289 – v8 – 4 barrel – with 3 on the floor and she is sometimes more vehicle than I can handle.

So if any of you out there are like me, out of practice, or you just do not have time, or you just are not interested in vehicles, I think if you are going to drive one, maybe you should try to make the time and just learn a few basics. As a driver, and a female, who has been stranded at least once when my clutch went out, I thought it advantageous to at least know how to maintain my vehicle if nothing else. So I thought I’d pass on some advice; If you learn nothing else about your vehicle, I hope you will at least look into learning how to do the following: Check your air filter, check your fuel filter, check and change your oil, know how to add antifreeze, check transmission fluid, check your windshield wipers and wiper fluid, check your headlights & tail lights, check your brakes, check and change a tire, and maintain a spare tire. We never know whats out there, or when we may get a lemon, but if we at least know a little, maybe just maybe, we won’t get stranded on the side of the road. Oh and by the way it never hurts to know a good mechanic if you are not one.

So mechanic or not, you know I always invite you along for the ride, and this time I hope you will heed my advice or even better leave some for me and every one else if you have advice to give. If no advice, maybe you will tell us about your dream car, or the one you own, or your dream bike for that matter, or the one you own. Either way, I hope one of these days you will join the conversation. If no one else is listening, at least you know I am..

The “For Real” Blame Game – Who’s To Blame?

Something recently reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my sisters last year. We were discussing major problems, as we saw them, in and with the country we choose to live in. She stated to me that she thought mental health was a big issue; I agreed. Not my number one though, I told her. Mental health is a big issue and one I hope to address in a future blog post. But, when I mentioned to her what I thought was high on the list she said oh yeah. So today, I want to discuss something close if not my number one. I want to discuss the huge lack of personal responsibility prevalent in today’s society.

I’ll begin by mentioning a story that I wrote several years ago. I called it The Blame Game. It was an anecdotal tale of the goings on of eleven kids and how at times one or a group of us would do something and let others in the family take the blame, or we would flat-out blame others, or we would be punished for or accept blame for things other family members did. I am sure most of you can relate. I sent this story to a brother of mine to review and provide his thoughts. His first words were “WOW! what a bold topic.” I remember those words as if it was yesterday. It was a bold topic. But, was my story bold? Was I taking on the topic as I should? Was I being thought-provoking? Well, my answer to all those questions was a resounding NO. I still might not take the topic on as I should, but I am going to try to hit the surface at least.

The blame game is something we play, knowingly or not, when we either refuse to, do not want to, or just plain do not…. take personal responsibility for ourselves and the choices we make. I say knowingly or not, as I feel sometimes we do not think about, do not expect, or do not want a consequence that comes about through a choice we made. Maybe we just did not think about all the “what ifs” before we did something. Maybe we just did not take responsibility because we never knew what the outcome was. Did it mean we did not care? or were we just not paying enough attention? I do not know, maybe you do. Still there are other times I feel we know exactly what we are doing and we get the exact reaction we expect. Then we act like we did not know what was going to happen and outright blame someone else. What does that say about us and who we are? Well guess what, all of it is definitely not a game.

I may never know some of the events my choices have brought about. But, as long as, I am willing to take ownership when they present themselves, whether good or bad, then that is how it should be. And if I take the time to think about the “what ifs” and consider all possible outcomes and am willing to accept any consequences, should they arise, for my actions, then that too is as it should be. What should not be, is me taking action in which there are no consequences should things go horribly wrong. The latter is how societal breakdown and chaos ensue.

Personal responsibility begins with me and it should begin with you too. Not only in the small daily little things, but also in the enormous things we are entrusted with. Things, like a nation of laws that we are not only allowed to participate in, but are implored, maybe even required to participate in. Take for example, what happens if I am a bully as a child and there are no consequences for my actions? Chances are I become a bully in my adulthood. What happens if there are still no consequences? What happens if there is a death as a result of my bullying and I am not held accountable? How could any place survive? Or how could I even expect any place to survive if things like that happen? If we do not hold ourselves accountable for our own actions, how can we hold anyone else accountable for theirs?

Maybe it is time to make a change. Maybe it is time we start holding ourselves and each other accountable for our decisions, choices, etc. I am willing to step up and take my good and bad in this ride called life. Are you willing to join me? I’ll leave you with some quotes as food for thought. When your done reading and thinking, I hope you will leave all of us some of your own food for thought. The following quotes are compliments of www.goodreads.com:

“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado, or loneliness. It consists in daring to do the right thing and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political, or other. It consists in deeds not words.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make ultimately our own responsibility.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“We must reject the idea that every time a law is broken, society is guilty rather than the law-breaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his/her actions.” ~ Ronald Reagan

Texas vs Harvey

So you may have noticed that it has been quite a few days since my last post. As an East Texan, my mind and heart have been on where I choose to call home. I’m assuming by now, everyone knows that we had a large storm, named Harvey, that dropped a lot of water on part of the state of Texas and some of Louisiana. In that, I find my heart breaking along with all other Texans and many Americans for lives lost here. But my heart also feels gratitude and pride as we watch and become part of neighbors helping neighbors, Texans helping Texans, Americans helping Americans, or just plain humans helping humans.

Even before the storm, several people concerned for my safety reached out and got a hold of me. I let them all know I was okay and would remain that way. As the sun appears, I was and am fortunate that I live far enough north that the effects of Harvey have been minimal for us here. Our neighbors down to the south, not so much. The concern I was shown prompted me to give you some idea of the size and scope of Texas and the storm damage.

According to the Rand McNally Road Atlas 2017, “The Texas land area is two hundred sixty-one thousand two hundred thirty-one (261,231) square miles and population for the state is twenty-five million one hundred forty-five thousand five hundred sixty-one (25,145,561)”. If you were to travel by car, it is approximately eight hundred twenty-three (823) miles from the Louisiana state line, near where I live, on the east side of Texas to the New Mexico state line, near El Paso, on the west end of Texas. It also is eight hundred eighty-six (886) miles from Brownsville, Texas which is nearly the southernmost point, bordering Mexico, to Texhoma, Texas which is the northernmost point, bordering the state of Oklahoma.

When we moved to Texas, we actually learned that the state is also broken down into regions. Most maps list seven regions, but some break those seven regions down to sub regions and show more. I like to keep it simple if possible, so I will only list the seven regions. They are as follows from west to east: Big Bend Country, South Texas Plains, Panhandle Plains, Hill Country, Prairies & Lakes, Piney Woods, & Gulf Coast. Harvey produced some flooding in the region I live, the Piney Woods. Most damage, however, was done in the Gulf Coast region.

This Gulf Coast region is approximately four hundred thirty-seven (437) miles by car from its northernmost point to its southernmost. Unfortunately, Harvey effected two hundred seventy-three (273) or more of those miles. Imagine if you would, if you live on either coast, that two hundred seventy-three (273) is the amount of miles from Huntington Beach, California to Las Vegas Nevada or Boston, Massachusetts to Syracuse, New York. The Gulf Coast region is also home to the largest city in the state of Texas; Houston. Houston’s population alone is approximately two million one hundred thousand (2,100,000) people. But if you consider Harvey’s effect to the entire two hundred seventy-three (273) mile area, you are talking about a population of nearly six million (6,000,000) people sadly.

As my mind tries to digest all these numbers, I try to think of businesses, homes, animals, people, well just lives effected by this storm and possible rain coming. Then I realize we are all effected in some way or another. As with any and all crisis, problems, obstacles, etc. we are all always effected. Sometimes we just cannot see that fact. Sometimes it takes a big storm to rise us to the occasion and to remind us of who we want to be, who we can be, and who we are. In those moments or times if we think we have nothing to offer, please keep in mind that is not the truth. For if the only thing each one of us has to offer is our empathy and/or sympathy, than that is truly a gift, not only worth offering, but surely worth accepting or receiving.

Texas Gulf Coast, like every other place, will heal in time. It may take a very long time, but we will re-access and rebuild. And maybe the lesson that is to be learned, in this storm and all storms, is that we will always continue to need each other and we will always need to be there for each other in spirit and otherwise. So I say thank you to Texas, America, and the world for showing up in the fury of the storm and staying beyond. May we endure this and all other storms together.

I always ask you to leave your thoughts on my posts, and on this post I will do no different. So if you have something to contribute and say please do so.. Texas does want to know you are there..

Kudos For A Job Well Done..

Those of us that choose to live rural or own a home know that our work is never done.  There is always something to update or repair, lawns to mow, trees to trim, etc. We keep a never-ending to do list and try to cross off as many things as we can. This is a post not only about us, but about work, the men and women that do it, and the celebration when it is complete.

I will begin with a story that starts several weeks ago when we started phase one of a multi-phase job. We had a tree approximately forty-five to fifty feet tall that needed to be taken down. So I on a tractor and another with chainsaw in hand took to completing our task. With a little ingenuity We laid that tree precisely where we wanted it and began cutting it in large lengths. Then we hauled the large pieces to an area in preparation for phase two and smaller unusable pieces to an area for destruction. Phase two happened on a couple different days that I did not partake in. It consisted of sawing those large pieces into smaller, more manageable pieces for splitting. Phase three began at seventy-three degrees in the morning hours a day or so ago. It was the splitting, loading, unloading, and stacking phase. For those that might not know wood gets stacked in piles and left to cure for about a year before it is dry enough for use. So four or five hours later at ninety degrees (heat index of one hundred and two), phase three was complete. A little tired and definitely hot, I stood there looking at the stacked pile feeling a sense of accomplishment, a sense of self-satisfaction for a job well done. A much-needed rest followed before trying to tackle the next task.

So if you, like me, have put your time and effort into completing a task at hand today, whether or not you were paid for it, step back and pat yourself on the back. Take a deep breath and feel that same feeling of self-satisfaction for your job well done. It is time that we celebrate those moments in ourselves and in each other. And as we celebrate, a few things that maybe we can keep in mind as we do so are to follow:

First, that there is no job or task that is too small for us to feel that sense of accomplishment. As a matter of fact a friend of mine just reminded me of this. He mentioned to me that there had been an event at which one of the speakers spoke about accomplishing tasks. With a little research, I found that the speaker was Admiral McRaven, a navy seal. The admiral spoke at the University of Texas at Austin’s graduation commencement in 2014. Here is an excerpt from his speech: “If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another.” Even if that task, making your bed, is the only task you did today, take pride in the fact that you accomplished something and imagine what tomorrow could bring if you add in more. And the days full of task accomplishments are ones for all of us to relish in and aim to repeat.

Second, it matters not the job you do, whether it be sending a rocket to the moon or cleaning public toilets, it matters that you do that job with care and integrity. A long time ago I had a dish washing job and one of the kitchen staff did not show up for work. The chef asked me to step in and help. That day she taught me a valuable lesson. She told me “do not put anything on the plate that you would not want to put in your mouth and eat.” I have never forgotten those words and have tried to apply them in my work situations since. Over the years I have had to train other staff members and have tried to pass on this same valuable lesson. I tell them what I was told and how I have incorporated it into every job I have ever had. Beginning with, if you wouldn’t want to eat off a dirty plate, then make sure that you clean every plate well. Right up to, if you wouldn’t want to sit on a dirty toilet, then make sure it is clean before and after you use it. Luckily, those are all jobs in the past, but I think you understand my point.

Lastly, as we go about our busy day, we should not fail to recognize a job well done and thank the person who did it. While some may not need this recognition from us as their work ethic allows them to be self-satisfied, others might need the affirmation that they have done a good job before they can recognize it in themselves. Either way it always warms the heart when we are thanked for our efforts and feel appreciated. So lest we forget what it feels like when we are appreciated, maybe we can pass that feeling on to others who may need it in their daily grind. Here is hoping someone thanks you today and maybe today you will tell us all what task you completed that filled you with pride. That way we can all appreciate a job well done and celebrate it.