Author: Lauras

All Words Matter…

Finding time to write, to communicate, and to reach you has been difficult for me, that is why I am out here so infrequently. It is not that I do not want to be here more often, it is that I need to learn balance, something that eludes me, or maybe I’m finding in other ways. You see, I must also pay bills, tend to my home, close projects started, and attempt to find joy in it all. Keeping my heart open has allowed me to find that, joy in doing what needs to be done, whether it be tending my garden, fixing my vehicle, working on my book, or conversing with customers at my job. When it is meant to be, however, there are moments that appear, that push me to come and talk to you. There are things I find so important, that I know I must not wait. Last night was one of them.

A simple sentence out of the mouth of someone who has the ability to reach millions. Probably overlooked by many. Yet reached and rang in my ears, three rooms away. They said “The only words that matter right now are the ones out of the mouth of our President”. I said “NO, NOT TRUE”. There are no limits to my disagreement with that statement. Even using the term I vehemently disagree does not seem enough. I disagree enough for sure to come and talk to you and get your opinions. Real change happens in our discussions with each other, that is why I try to have them with every stranger that crosses my path.

Do not get me wrong, I agree that the words coming out of our leader matter. I sometimes wish some were not spoken, but it is not my place to judge, they are human, as am I. They have their purpose, as do I. My disagreement with the statement above comes from ONLY their words mattering. I BELIEVE… all of our words matter, every single one of them, from every single one of us, and those words come with great responsibility and we should be well aware of their intent and delivery.

A large part of me wanted to point out to that person that words mattered to a nine year old, who lost confidence in her beauty because of them, words mattered to every child that felt bullied by another, that words mattered in the building of the hate and destruction in some enough for them to take the lives of many. Somehow I am sure that person already knows what I am talking about. They know that some of the words come from strangers, and from people that are loved and trusted. They come from every day people that are allowed to effect us, guide us, teach us, and yes lead us. They even come from people like them and me.

I also wanted to tell that person, that like many or most of us, I have learned that it is not necessarily the word or words being uttered, it is the intent of how they are used or how the heart is projecting and receiving them. I find it funny that the same two words, being said to me, can make me laugh, make me cry, and make me angry depending on what person, situation, and emotion is behind them. Sadly, we allow powers of different kinds to separate us, divide us, categorize us, and manipulate us into believing things that are not necessarily true, so that when words are spoken, persons, intent and emotion become completely convoluted.

What is the fix? How do we fix it? I am not sure I know. What I do know is that every single one of us, individually, and as groups, needs to know and understand that words do matter. They can cut like a knife or can build a mountain. May we all choose wisely. For me, in the chaos of life, I continue to try to walk in love, faith, and forgiveness. I continue to try to deliver my words in a manner I hope you think about, as I also desperately try to stay open to hear your words. I have repeated recently, and continue to hear the words, of a song whose lyrics were written by Siedah Garrett, and whose music was arranged by Glen Ballard; recorded by Michael Jackson “I’m starting with the man in the mirror… I’m asking him to change his ways… No message could have been any clearer… If you want to make the world a better place… Take a look at yourself, and then make a change…”.

I suppose my point… We are in this together, and maybe we should all consider our words, our actions, and our reactions, before looking to anyone else, no matter what kind of power we think anyone else has over us or ours over them. I ask you, what do you think? And as always, your thoughts, your words, your truths, are welcomed here in hopes that they are positive, constructive, and help us all heal.

America.. She Is Beautiful..

Today America celebrates her independence. As Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines it “the quality or state of being independent: Freedom”. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines independent as “not dependent, not subject to control by others: self-governing”. I sat and thought about these definitions in great length today, wondering how or whether they fit in my existence. I thought about my husband, who does much for me. I thought about the things I bring to the table. Though maybe we both depend on the other for different things, neither controls the other, and maybe that is the point. We coexist to the benefit of both, we serve each other, teach each other, and love each other.

I suppose I have looked at America as an expansion of this thought process. The grand experiment of just and moral beings taking part in their own governance. Adding our own specific talents to the benefit of all, and at times self-sacrificing for the betterment, willing to teach, and be taught. My heart has always believed in the idea, along with the founders, that “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”. I think Thomas Paine put it best “The cause of America is in a great the cause of all Mankind. Where, some say, is the king of America? I’ll tell you, friend, He reigns above.”

Though many of the founding fathers felt and thought the same, John Adams said “It is religion and morality alone which can establish the principles upon which freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free constitution is pure virtue.” I may agree John, religion as defined by Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary “the service and worship of God, or the supernatural” and morality “particular moral principles or rules of conduct, conformity to ideals of right human conduct” should make for a solid foundation. So why do I feel like the foundation is cracking?

How did we get to a place where we no longer say we are a Constitutional Republic, but instead a Democracy? How did we get to a place where corruption exists? How did we get to a place where many feel overburdened and underappreciated? How did we get to a place where our hate motivates us and not our love or moral compass? How did we get to a place where many do not believe in a higher power? How did we get to a place that many think they can do truly abhorrent things in the name of religion? What is truth and what is not? Where is personal responsibility in the scheme of all these things?

I ask these questions, as I perceive these at times. Yet even with those perceptions, for all that she is, and has been, for the mistakes she has made, and will make, she (America) is still the best country to wake up in everyday, and I am grateful to get to do just that. So I will celebrate that I am alive and all life is beautiful. I will celebrate that I am free to make choices, including the choice of whether to do something bad or something good. I will celebrate that I have the knowledge that their are rewards and consequences for each of my choices. I will celebrate that I have the ability to pursue things that truly make me happy. Today, with you, I will celebrate her, I will celebrate those that fought to form her, and those that fight to keep her, and I will continue to wish that each of you, if not today, one day will get to celebrate the same things too, wherever you are.

It’s About How You Say It..

I’ve been wanting to share with you something I read ten days ago. Somehow life has been getting in my way. I have recognized, however, in that life, there have been signs pushing me back to the topic at hand. The topic words, what we say, and how we say it. What I read began with a bible verse and then was expanded upon by another writer. I couldn’t agree more so I wanted to do my own expansion. The verse is this “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” ~ Matthew 12:34

It saddens me that we continue to go back towards censorship, instead of heading towards the root of the problem; the heart. I believe in the freedom of speech, that everybody’s truth should be heard. Whether it be by just one who can change the life of the speaker, or whether it be by many. The problem is all too often we let our wounds and our hurt, lead us to anger. Then there becomes a need to blow this anger out, and this is what becomes the platform we use to speak. I have said multiple times recently, that the only two things I can truly control on this planet are my action and my reaction. My journey is teaching me how to feel the hurt my heart feels, to stand strong in its truth, and not react in anger. For when my heart feels such anger and hatred, nothing good comes out of my mouth. It is my desire, maybe not yours, to live a life not having others feel what I feel sometimes, or if they feel it, feel it in a gentler way.

With that said, when I say life has been giving me signs to expand on this topic, the first was the very next day. I am fortunate that my daily life floats complete strangers in and out of it. I ended up in a conversation with a complete stranger about many things, but among them were paying for his children’s education. I felt compelled to share with him my life experiences when it came to that, and further thoughts on the topic. What came out of his mouth next, the first sign bringing me back here. His exact words to me “I really do not want to leave. I could talk to you all day. I will be back just to talk to you. Because sometimes we really do not want to hear what is being said, but when it is said in a nicer way, we are more open to hearing it.” My response, besides letting him know I was meant to hear him say that, was to tell him about what I read and my desire to write about it. I knew that, if for no one else but myself, my mouth, or in this case hands, had to speak what my heart was full of.

What is my heart full of?? A desire to help heal. But, I cannot do this if I react in anger to anger, or react in hate to hate. I can only do this if I take the hurt and feel it, and then truly hear what is said, digest what is said, try to understand why it is said in that way, and then respond from a better place in my heart, a more vulnerable place in my heart. When I do this, although I am saying the same thing, although someone may not want to hear it, they are more open to listening and hearing. And guess what, so aren’t I.

If this post does nothing else, I hope it makes you think about what your heart feels. I hope it further makes you stop and think, that what you say is coming out in a tone according to what is in your heart. I personally prefer to raise others as I raise, not destroy what has attempted to destroy me. We all need to heal, and this can only occur with love, not more hate. Whether you agree or not, we want to get to know you, to know what you think. To learn from you and hopefully have you learn from us. So when you are ready to join in, please do. Healing will truly only come when we have a desire to get to know each other. Until then, thanks for coming to hear or read what I have to say. From my heart to yours – love and light – may they be what is in your heart.

Tending A Garden

Let me begin by saying I am not much of a green thumb, although I do love to be surrounded by nature; trees and wildlife. Also water if I have any say so. But, as of last year, I am learning how to grow a few things in a garden. After some failures last year, I am being open to suggestions from people who love to garden, and am getting out and doing a little more work. I may not be doing things perfectly, at least I am trying to get better at it, and trying to find joy in doing it. Gardening is like other things in life I am finding, we love the rewards at the end, but sometimes don’t like to put in the necessary work.

With that said, last year it was tomatoes and jalapeno peppers. And we found out, last year, that tomato horn worms like peppers as much as tomatoes. Who would have thought that. I cannot even tell you how many horn worms we pulled off the plants. Even though we had that problem, the peppers were plentiful. The tomatoes not so much. This year we did a couple of things different, and already I am seeing improvement.

This year, we used tomato cages instead of stakes. this is allowing our plants to get a little higher and our tomatoes to spread out more and become bigger. We planted garlic around the perimeter and in between rows as a deterrent to keep the horn worms at bay. So far, no sighting and that is a great thing. We planted other herbs as well in the garden – Basil, Nasturtium, thyme, rosemary, sage, and chives. All but one, seems to be doing beautifully. I have to investigate what is going on with my sage, and possibly move its location. I will check with the farmers almanac for a good replanting day if that is necessary. This year we also planted quite a few bell peppers and fewer jalapenos. We were worried that with the amount of rain we have had, which meant later planting, that our garden would not produce. We are finally beginning to see buds, flowers, and growth. Something to bring us smiles.

  • My Basil and Tomato Plants
  • My Pepper Plants – Chives, Sage, and Rosemary in the distance
  • Garlic coming up on the perimeters
  • My first Bell Pepper
  • One of a handful of Jalapenos
  • My first bunch of Tomatoes

I am learning that gardening is like anything or everything else in life. It has its positive in providing fruit and its negative in weeds, it needs to be provided with love and care to succeed, and the more work you put into it, the greater the reward. I am not doing perfectly in my weeding, but I am trying. I am not giving it total love and care as I try to balance my garden with work, writing, and other things needing to be done around the house. One day I will find balance and time for it all. I will do this because in the end the rewards are totally worth all the time and effort put in.

In the end, I guess if I could say anything to you, whether you too are growing a garden or just attempting to live a life worth it. Just remember, every choice has its benefits and consequences, every reward requires hard work, when we remove the negative we make more room for the positive, and everything needs love and care – me, you, our friends, strangers, our gardens, all life. Let us tend to them with joyous hearts. As always feel free to leave a comment, an addition, a part of who you are. It will always be welcomed here with an open heart.

It’s All About Perspective

The other day, in a community I am part of, a person asked “If you could describe your life in colour, is it colorful or black and white?” Many, including myself, said our lives had been colorful. There were some, however, that said their’s were black or grey. Some even said they wished or hoped to see color one day. This broke my heart. So I came back with a comment, as did several others, about perspective. Today, I want to define what that is, and share my perspective on perspective.

Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines perspective in this way; “to look through, see clearly, to look more at”. I recognize that this definition seems like it is all about what is seen with our eyes. As someone though, who has had constant eye or vision issues; years of eyeglasses, then lasik, then shingles in the eye, then a disease that effects my eyes, I came to the realization that someone or something did not want me necessarily relying on my eyes. So I am learning how to be guided, how to see clearly, and what the truth may be, by using all of my physical senses, my spirit, and my heart, more than, or in addition to, using my eyes.

Perspective can change anything in our lives depending on how we choose the view. Now I could choose to say why me, and believe me there were times I used those exact words. Not necessarily, only about my eyes, but about other happenings in my life; near abductions, cheating boyfriends, losing my best friend to death. A laundry list of happenings that we all have experienced at one time or another. Some of what some experience is worse than others, we might think. I believe though, that there are always lessons to learn, or positives that come out of it all, if I choose to see them, if I choose to change my perspective.

For me, the eye issues heightened my other senses including the sixth one. An ego crushing incident increased the size of a loving heart. Near abductions brought awareness of rescuers or heroes. Cheating, jealous, or envious people brought a desire to be truthful, honest, loyal, and generous. Although a long way away from family and life long friends, opportunity abounds for me to meet new people, share my life, make more life long friends. Work opportunities have allowed me to meet people of all different races and different religions, from countries all over the world. To attempt to learn at minimal a word or two from different languages, or to converse somewhat broken in a language other than my native. I’ve learned to speak in the universal language of love with kind gestures, and respect, and when necessary use other skills, and all the senses, to help bring understanding. Yes, when I change the perspective of all the negatives in my life to positives, I have lived and continue to live a colorful life indeed.

As I commented to the people in my community, I hope that each of you, in retrospect can find the positive in the negative things that have occurred in your lives. Even if that positive was only an awareness of strength or courage. I hope that you can remember someone’s kindness, help, smile, understanding. I bet, if you can find a way to change your perspective, you too will see that you have also lived a colorful life. As humans, we tend to focus on our beginnings and our endings, sometimes to the detriment of the colorful journey we took in between. May we all learn to appreciate our journeys, and see and live them in full color. With that, if you want to add color to my life, or our lives, by joining the conversation or posting a comment, please do. Until next time, may you realize you are, and are on, the rainbow if you choose to be. Peace, love, and joy to you all.

We Are All Models…

I apologize for being away so long in between posts as I try to balance my life. It really is a dream of mine to know that you are reading what I write. And a bigger dream, and hope that my experiences, and the revealing of them, have some effect on you. Today I want to tell you about my childhood dream and my realization to achieving it in ways I never possibly imagined. It took me redefining the word model in my existence, and to shining the light on an event that I thought damaged me. Instead I am realizing how it has truly helped fulfill me. No more crying tears for what I thought that event took away from me. Now only crying tears of joy knowing that forgiving myself, and the others involved, has shown me that I needed that event to happen, to become who I am, and to learn and recognize what I needed to.

You may have figured out that as a child I wanted to be a model. And although I may have had the body for it growing up, I suppose my face was not magazine material. The high school boys involved in my incident, when I was 8 or 9 years old, apparently thought the same in their pointing out of my ugliness. Since that day, I have never thought of myself as being physically beautiful. Although I have learned that inner beauty radiates and does make the outer shell appear to be more beautiful. Knowing that I have learned this, you may just believe me when I say, you could not imagine how grateful I am for those boys. Feeling this way about my outer shell, has allowed me to work on my insides my entire life. It has allowed me to enhance the beauty of my soul, the true model we all should be. Yes they took away my confidence, and shattered my ego, and I thank God. Because what they gave me were humility, kindness, and goodness for starters.

As I write this, and think about other influential people in my life, whether what they did to me was negative or positive, I can clearly see the lesson I was supposed to learn. They taught me that I was lovable, beautiful, humorous, strong, courageous, and that soul connections are limitless. They also shined the light on things that have needed repairs, and may need to continue to be worked on, like how stubborn or argumentative I can be, times of jealousy and envy, as well as, moments of contentiousness. I have never been one to really hate or harm since that day, but I now recognize when it is I am truly not loving either. It is sad that we all feel we must protect ourselves from the outer shells of others. Even sadder that many still do not know the joy of letting their soul light shine and connect to other souls.

Something I read recently, and what put the thought of this post in my brain, is the lesson for today. I read that the flesh sins. It always has and it always will. We cannot avoid that. Whether the sin be conceit, envy, jealousy, greed, hate, selfishness, or worse, does not matter. We will always sin, we are human. The trick is to keep minimal the sin. On the other hand, the Spirit or Soul, if you will, is love. When we choose to walk or grow in spirit, we choose joy, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness to name a few. My epiphany was that, my entire life, I had been a model. But so haven’t you. And when we chose to, or choose to, walk in the flesh, we model or show others, how to hate, how to be greedy, how to rob, cheat, steal, murder, etc.. Oh and when we walk in the Spirit, we model to others – God’s Law – Love thy neighbor as thyself. For when we walk in the spirit of love we model joy, peace, patience, kindness, forgiveness, and faith.

I know which model I choose to be and have chosen for a long time. I hope after reading this, you will think about the model you want to be. Life of temptation is hard to resist, and will never be fully resisted, we can only do the best we can. I hope we all choose wisely, our souls, if nothing else, depend on it. May we all be or become beacons of the Spirit of love.. Have a thought, an epiphany of your own you want to share, please do. We invite you always to participate. Until you are ready – love to you all..

Open The Heart & Love

In prior posts, I have shared with you, an excerpt from an Ann Landers (Dear Abby) column, that I have carried around in my pocket for decades. My mother cut it out of the newspaper when I was sixteen, and handed it to me to read. I have kept it with me at all times since then. It is an article in which a woman wrote asking what love is. Ms Landers used something written by Laura Hendricks as her response. “Love is friendship caught fire; it is quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicles of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is , it is not enough.”

Many people view today as a day to celebrate the relationships with their spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, significant others, etc. Me, I view today, as a day to celebrate love in all its forms. With that said, it was important to let the girl who drew my blood, know I appreciated her. She got a Happy Valentines Day from me, along with a thank you, and a have a great day. Isn’t she as deserving of my love as the next person? I also wished my co-worker a Happy Valentines Day. She too is deserving of some of my heart. If there is one thing this journey has taught me, it is how to redefine words, or terms, I have been taught in my life. It has taught me to broaden my perspective. To think, look, and feel outside the box.


Although I do love what I have carried with me for a great portion of my life, and read it often, there are things I so wish to add to it. For instance I would say love is the opening of a heart to feeling. I would say the only limits and boundaries it has are those that we individually put on it. I would say it is uncontrollable, and like the wind, blows to us, from us, past us, around us, and through us. I’ve learned you cannot grasp it or hold it, it is and always will be free. And most importantly, although it may fade, it truly never dies. It may separate and fluctuate. But, if we are open to it, it will always find its way in, and will grow stronger with time.

I wrote something twenty-five years ago today, I’d like to share with you. It is called: 

My Valentines Poem 
                                                                             The rose, when its red, is a symbol of love
When its yellow, a symbol of friends 
When its white, its like peace, as in the flight of a dove
When one is given the smile it brings

Whatever the color, the pedals unfold
Always a sight of great beauty
For each and every eye to behold
And appreciate in the midst of life's duties

The rose, is just one of the symbols, of Valentine's Day
A day that is all about love
A day when we show those we care about them
through our smiles, our laughter, our hugs

I wish for you everyday like today
A day filled with smiles, laughter, and more
But most of all a day filled with love
Shared with friends, and those
Who make life such a joy.

by:
Laura Standrowicz
c: February 1994

So today, open your heart and let love in and out. Celebrate loves existence. If you do, I am sure, you will feel a little lighter and brighter. As I have shared with you, if you would like to share something of your own with us, please do. It matters not if it is your thoughts, feelings, a story, poem, or simply a word. We are here waiting to share. If you are not ready, that is okay. I will simply say: Happy Valentines Day!! From my open heart to yours.

Are Walls Immoral?

I always like to begin by defining words, so that I know if I have to redefine them in my personal existence. With that said, I want to define the word immoral. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines immoral as “inconsistent with purity or good morals”. What then are morals? Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines them as “of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior”. Now that I know this, the question then becomes do I believe it to be right or wrong behavior to erect a wall.

If I am going to speak honestly in answering this question, then I will begin in this way. As a human, more than once, I have built a wall around my heart to protect it from pain and breakage. Recently, I was in a discussion with a couple, whom I both enjoy the company of, and respect. In that discussion, I had to deal with a truth, that I had lived, where I live now, for 14 years, and I have never felt comfortable enough to ask anyone to go dancing, or shopping, or to a movie. Did I have friends? Did I have people that liked me? Of course, at least I thought so. So why wasn’t I inviting them to do things with me? To share my life? In this journey, and in my awakenings of what love is, I realized that I had built a wall. I had kept people at arms lengths. I had them close enough to enjoy their company on my terms. But, far enough away that losing them, in whatever way that term means, wouldn’t crush my heart. In my journey, I am making the attempt, to bring these walls down. However, evil does exist on this planet, that means that I will always need some sort of barrier around my heart, to protect it from total devastation. I guess then, there is a need for walls to protect. At least until the only thing that exists, is love.

As I write, my mind wanders to the affluent and powerful. Business leaders, athletes, singers, actors, politicians, national leaders, world leaders, religious leaders, and to some extent homeowners, many of whom erect walls around their nations, their fortunes, their properties, their homes. Why? Is it because they want to protect themselves from harm? To protect their fortunes? Do they want their deserved privacy? Is it all of the above? And if they think in this way, then why is it not right for the impoverished to think the same way? Do the affluent and powerful believe they have more right, than the homeless, who are far more often prayed upon? Is any of this truth? I am finding in our separation from each other, the truth is much harder to come by and find. I cannot, and will not, speak for anyone else, but myself. In honesty, I have put up barriers to protect my home, my property, my fortune, my privacy, to keep myself from harm and possible evils out. Does it work? To some extent, very possibly and/or probably, as a deterrent if nothing else, or maybe just for peace of mind.

Here is where I find myself, having to admit, if I use any kind of wall in my existence, then others deserve it in theirs. Sadly, as long as evil and hate exist, there will probably be a need for them. I have said before and will say again, that the only thing that is more powerful than, and removes evil, is love; true and unconditional, not what comes out of our mouths, instead what comes out of our hearts. Maybe one day, I will be more Christlike or Godlike, and be able to walk in a pure, fearless, unadulterated love. To be able to stand in love, no matter what the evil is presented to me, even if that evil means death. For now, as I take baby steps in learning how to get there, do I think walls are immoral? Not necessarily. A necessity? I guess, sadly. So what do you think? Have any thoughts? Truths you want to admit to or share? Have any walls in your existence? Are your walls immoral? Let us know what you think whenever you are ready.

Common Sense & Compromise

Today I am going to begin by defining both of those words, or phrases, because I think we all need to hear and think about their meanings. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines common sense as “sound prudent judgement, the unreflective opinions of ordinary men” and compromise as “the process or a result of settlement by arbitration or by consent reached by mutual concessions, something blending the characteristics of two others, a committal to something prejudicial, to bind by mutual agreement, to adjust or settle by mutual concessions”. I bring these words up as I watch a nation so willing to throw them both out a window. A nation picking sides, and each side saying the other side is made of bullies, and not recognizing so isn’t theirs.

Are we not all forgetting the reason many came to this nation, or emulated it, or parts of it. It is because a long time ago a group of men, took their opinions, their anger, their disdain, and put it aside. They looked into themselves and recognized they were but ants in a world we may never know everything about. They realized there had to be something more. In that spirit, and with an attempt at morality in their heart, and a fear that if they made wrong decisions there would be painful consequences, they began to build a nation. Somehow, they found a way to compromise and set a foundation for the rest of us. Sad truth, many do not even know what that foundation is, as they choose not to learn for themselves. Many have listened to the beliefs of others and trusted in their guidance. This foundation may not be perfect and it is complex. Even with it, choices and actions, have been far from perfect. But, the foundation becomes even more imperfect and complex when the pendulum swings to the extremes and laws are created to benefit the some at the expense of the others. Shouldn’t we be willing to share the benefits and the expense?

I sit here today thinking about a time when my mother took a sister of mine, who I used to fight with constantly, and sat her and I knee to knee in chairs. She forced us to sit there and look at each other without speaking, without movement. The anger and hate, the two of us wanting to force our wills on the other, was so palpable, as they say, you could have cut it with a knife. Life, however, is funny in how it teaches us lessons to learn about ourselves and each other. Through those lessons, my sister and I, have learned to be a little more like each other. Now we together, love at such depths, we join to try to bring beauty, love, and light into this world. Oh evil does exist in each one of us, so we both fail at times, that is a given. We are humans, we are made to fail and to have loss, and we are also made to succeed and have gain. The issue is finding balance in it all, finding common sense and compromise in it all. For if I succeed too greatly, then someone suffers greatly, and vice versa. It is that way with all things in life.

What are the answers, I know I definitely do not have them all, and am unsure if any one of us does really. I believe, and am of the same cloth, as those that say we have big problems, that need big discussions, and maybe bigger solutions. I just wonder which generation is going to be like our founders, which generation will find a way to common sense and compromise. I continue to look back to the founders and why they came to the conclusions they came to. I look back at their arguments, disagreements, and compromises. I try to view where they came from and why they would decide what they decided. I respect their framework and the need for it. I was hoping it would be my generation to stand, I just am not sure anymore. I will repeat the words said in many songs, in many books, in many forms “Don’t you think it is time”. Don’t you think it is time again for common sense and compromise? I do. That is why I am here wanting to know your truth and wanting you to know mine. So that we can find a way to live and balance in the middle.

Victim To Freedom

Earlier today I was in a conversation about a man who is operating at a very high physical level for his age. His job, or what it is he gets paid for, is something that he loves, as it should be. I made the statement “he may be able to do this because he gets massages to help himself physically, he meditates to help himself spiritually, he takes the things no longer serving him and writes them down on a piece of paper, burns them at the beginning of the year, and sets new goals to help himself energetically and mentally.” The response to me was “well, he can afford to do all that because he is rich”. My add in “what does rich have to do with it? Maybe that is why he is rich, because he changes his mental attitude from victim to freedom”.

A little while later, watching a game, one of the announcers says “if they lose, do you think they will blame, being a victim of their having to travel so much, for their loss?” Then he added, that he is sure it will come up. This made me think about yours, as well as, my life choices when we are victims of situations. In my earlier conversation, I had said something to the effect of “If I choose to mentally stay stuck in the thought that I am a victim, then I will stay stuck there.” I further went on to say “that the announcer had a point, that the losing team could choose to be the victim and say their circumstances made them lose, or they could just step up and say they were out played, turn the page, and move to freedom.” I guess we will see what they choose in the coming days.

Point of this post is to pass on to you, a few things I have learned in my life, or that I continue to learn. These are: that when I no longer view myself as the victim, and I make even a small insignificant change, that change can bring about huge results and definitely a little more or a lot more freedom. Also, that even these small insignificant changes have or are risk. And lastly, what is needed with risk is a little bit of faith that the outcome will be positive.

I will use a current situation to give you an example of my points above. I have an autoimmune disease, which means I have a pre-existing condition. My last insurance expired approximately a month ago. In the months leading up to it’s expiration, I felt like the victim to a system of competing powers, neither of which, was keeping a person like me in mind; so it seems. I could be wrong. You see, it did not matter whether I went direct to the insurance provider or through the governments website, they both were the same policy. A policy, at a cost I could not afford, based on my income or lack there of, with a deductible higher then the price of a compact car. Add to this, the policy would not cover any of my doctors, hospitals, clinics, and only two of my cheapest prescriptions. What was I going to do??

First and foremost, I was going to have to let go of the fear, anger, and feeling of being a victim of a system, I may not be happy with. Once I could manage to do that, I could realize that I did have other options. And with each option, came risks and costs, some of which were going to be non-monetary. All I knew is I couldn’t stay so paralyzed in how I felt any longer. I decided to have a little faith in God to help keep me protected, a little faith in myself to be confident and fearless in making decisions that would bring about changes and consequences, and finally faith in my fellow human beings to do the right thing and help or work with me, when and if I needed it.

So, here I am, and I survived that first decision to stop feeling like a victim. That led me to a second decision, which was to take a little time to weigh the plus and minuses of each choice I had in front of me. Doing that, lead me to making a decision that saved me financially, allowed me to keep my doctors, medical facilities, pharmacy, etc., and gave me a greater sense of freedom, like the constraints and restraints had been removed. Now, there are definite consequences to my decisions, that I hope will not cause me great pains in the future. With all risk there is a possibility of that happening. But, there is also a possibility that I gain much as well. At least I know one thing I have gained already, that is the knowledge that choosing to not be a victim, allows me the freedom to do what I want and become who I want.

My hope for you, is that if you too feel victimized, you find a way to take that first step out towards freedom, to find faith in God, yourself, and the rest of us. It may not be an easy journey or a quick one, but as they say, it can and will be worth it. Good Luck, Good Love, and if you want to add commentary, thoughts, or your own example, please do. Rest assured someone is here waiting for you to join in.