Author: Lauras

Our History — We Need It.

A couple of weeks ago, with visiting family, I took a trip to a town not to far from where I live. We went to the historic town of Jefferson, Texas. There is some question as to when Jefferson was founded. Some say 1836, some say early 1840s, it for sure was on a map in 1844. It has both a steam train and gas-powered antique locomotive that it uses for reenactments and tours. It was recognized as a river port, so you can take boat tours of either the bayou systems that run through it, or tour nearby Caddo Lake. If you have your own adventurous streak you can also rent kayaks and canoes and delve out on your own. It is chock full of different kinds of restaurants, bed and breakfasts, boutiques, antique stores, general stores, nature areas, historical landmarks, history and other museums, and you can even take a carriage ride on different occasions. I am attaching a few pictures of our excursion to give you a small taste of its charm, and a link to its tourism website in case you get an inkling or desire to visit.  http://visitjeffersontexas.com 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the things that caught my eye and mind in this quaint little town, was a statue or monument. As I stopped to read about its significance, I came along something in its inscription that is on many a monument or statue; the simple sentence “Lest we forget”. Those words and the significance of history have weighed heavy on my mind since – in all aspects; personal, country, and world.

Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines history as “a tale or story, a chronological record of significant events usually including an explanation of their causes, a branch of knowledge that records and explains past events”.  It says nothing of whether those stories, those records, or that knowledge is there to remind us of joyous wonderful things or really painful, hurtful things. History is simply put, the past. It is there to remind us of both good and bad, it is there to remind us of who we were and to show us how far we have come, or maybe it is there to remind us of who we want to be or do not want to be.

Without the Great Pyramids, the Colosseum, the Great Wall, the Taj Mahal, the records of the existence of the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Colossus of Rhodes (both destroyed by earthquakes), and many other world-wide castles, statues and monuments, how would we know where we came from, why we took the paths we took, or where we want to go? History is there to remind us. Now I may not like some things existence, or the reason it was created, or the purpose it served, the fact is, it is there to remind me. To remind me to not do something again, to remind me to be a better person, to remind me to be more inclusive, to remind me of all kinds of things. If I was to erase all or any of it, how will I keep myself from making the same mistakes, how will I know why I am who I am, and how will I know how to create a better way. To take it down to its base, our past, our history, makes each one of us who we are. To remove the things that caused us to endure great pains also will change who we are and where we are going. We do need to remember these things, we do not need to relive them.

“Lest We Forget” – three small words with great meaning and consequence.  Let’s not change or erase history, it is there for a reason. You and I are here because of it. So, if you have a quaint historic town near you, take a casual stroll, choose to remember, if only for a little while. You might just find yourself altering course because of it. Have some history to share, a thought you want to add, whatever it may be, we are always here awaiting your input and awaiting to share your life because we haven’t forgotten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Four Leaf Luck???

I am not really sure how I feel about luck. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines it as “A force that brings good fortune or adversity, favoring chance”. I more often use the word fate. And Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines that as “The principle or determining cause or will by which things in general are supposed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do, whatever is destined or decreed, final outcome”. As humans we have the power of choice. So when I make a choice, but have no control over the process, is it luck that brings me to the outcome or is it fate? I guess if I am true to myself, I will say it is a little of both.

I felt a need to share some things with you today that involve luck and so much more. I am not sure why, just following my heart I guess.  These being, a poem that hung on our bedroom wall in the house I grew up in, a life experience, and a few pictures of my findings. I will begin by sharing the same poem with you that I read nearly every morning, growing up, as I was getting dressed and ready to take on the day. It hung just above our bureau, so if we happened to look up it met our gaze. It is a poem by Ella Higginson that I hope you enjoy. Here it is:

                        Four-Leaf Clover


I know a place where the sun is like gold,
   And the cherry blooms burst with snow,
And down underneath is the loveliest nook,
   Where the four-leaf clovers grow.

One leaf is for hope, and one is for faith,
   And one is for love, you know,
And God put another in for luck --
   If you search, you will find where they grow.

But you must have hope, and you must have faith,
   You must love and be strong -- and so --
If you work, if you wait, you will find the place
   Where the four-leaf clovers grow.

BY:
Ella Higginson
1862-1940

And search we did. I like to walk. When I was young, I did a lot of it. Every once in a while I had a sister that would walk with me. We would inevitably end up at this little area with a swing set. Not really a park, just a vacant lot covered in clovers. Every summer we would have a clover finding competition; to see who would find more four-leaf clovers. It always was my sister in the end. Although, I did find my fair share. Maybe because she had more luck than me. Or was it that she had more of the rest? Hope, Faith, and Love. I am not sure, but the more I become, find, and realize who I am in this journey, the more I realize it matters not. The sheer fact that I could find them too, shows me I had whatever she had, including luck. I have continued to find them, and so has she, whenever we feel like putting in the time to look. It is just a matter of slowing our lives down long enough to enjoy them.

Ohio Four Leaf
Texas Four Leaf

So I guess with the way the world is going, I am here, along with Ella, to remind you that no matter where you are in life, or whatever is happening in it, remember to have a little hope, remember to keep the faith, remember to love wholeheartedly and unconditionally, and always stand strong in all of them, you just might find a little luck along the way. I am attaching some proof of mine and maybe you will share with all of us stories or proof of yours. 

Keep The Faith…

Today in an awareness of an old friends struggles, I found myself reiterating a word to them, that I have said to many in my life recently. It feels like I have used this one word more times in a week, than I have in my entire life. The word is faith. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines it as “allegiance to duty or a person, fidelity to one’s promises, belief and trust in and loyalty to God, firm belief in something for which there is no proof, complete confidence, something that is believed with strong conviction”. Though I have struggles of my own, my first and immediate instinct was to help. Maybe this was because I know with certainty that not only is it the right thing, but that sharing even the small things, restores necessary good things that are removed as we struggle; the most important of these is faith.

I am learning in my journey that I need to have it in myself, and my abilities, first and foremost, and that I must remain steadfast in this. I am also becoming more and more aware that when we struggle in life, it is to teach us something, to bring someone into our lives that we need there, or simply just to test that we have this – faith. I also am becoming well aware of the battle between fear and faith. As I continue to recognize and try to knock down fear as it creeps into my daily life, I am really noticing the difference in outcomes of the choices I make and which path it takes me down. Every single time I let fear win the battle, and make choices based on it, I find myself locked in a cage with it and it getting stronger. But, when I make the other choice to beat fear back, and keep the faith, the most amazing, beautiful, happy, fun moments continue to arrive. And depending on what I am afraid of, say lack of money, if I keep the faith, in small ways it arrives and takes care of my immediate needs.

I am recognizing also that choices I am making, are taking me into these fear filled struggles in the first place. I am recognizing, the more I am what society wants me to be, instead of being who I want to be, and the more I try to keep myself to myself, instead of sharing who I am with all of you, the more I struggle. I guess I am here today to remind you all to keep the faith, no matter what struggle you may be enduring at this time. If fear is creeping in, kick it back, and let the light and love in. This world is trying to keep us in a hate filled, fear filled place and I want us all to recognize this and share with each other the good things needed to fight back.

I do not even think we realize the depth of what has a grip on us. I recognize it fully every time someone new says to me “it’s too late” or “there is no hope”. Absolutely wrong; those words and feelings come from fear and hate. Hope, optimism, light, love, are all things that come about when we believe, when we have faith, not only in who we are, but in what life and this world have to share with us. So the next time you make a choice, if all you see approaching is darkness, loss, desperation, or shadows. Turn around and look for the bright light. It is there, it may be dim, but if you look hard enough you will find it. Follow that in faith, and it will lead you to some small victories, some small accomplishments, and moments of joy and happiness. Eventually, the light will get brighter and those small things will become bigger, and greater. Let your light shine it will bring you to amazing things.

So what about you? Are you struggling to keep the faith? To you have a faith filled and inspiring story to share? If today is your day and you are ready to comment please do. We are waiting for you.

The Tree Knows…

Those that know me have heard me say “I love where I live”. That is because I am surrounded by trees, shrubs, and other plant life. So today, as I was doing my daily walk in this environment, I thought about a social media post my cousin made the other day and my response. Also what flooded through my mind were the words from my last post in regards to good versus evil. I am trying to remind myself of these words daily and am trying even harder to recognize them in my actions, words spoken, and tone. That said, maybe we should not forget our individuality or individual responsibilities when we look for global solutions.

Her post read as follows: “So, global warming and climate change are such huge problems, there seems to be no solution. However, instead of being overwhelmed and feeling helpless, we can all make one small change because every little bit helps. I am going to focus on using only cloth bags at stores from now on, though I will use my plastic coated reusable bags until they break as well. Then only cloth bags for me. That is my focus. What is yours?”

Before, I let you know my reply, I want to preface it with a few things. First, whether I believe these exist or not is irrelevant. I do believe that worldwide, each one of us has a hand in damage caused to our planet and each other and we need to find ways of existing without causing so much harm. Second, I think I may agree with my cousin when she says we can all make small changes to heal the planet. Third, the more laws I try to read, and the more research I try to do, makes me ever more skeptic of big governments, big banks, and/or big business. And lastly, the one thing the religious and non-religious among us should agree on is the need for plants.

Here is how I replied: “One of the biggest helps to too much carbon is, guess what, plants. They need it and we need their oxygen. Man’s contribution to these problems is that we deforested and do not replant at the same rate. So plant a garden, that will help. If you take down a tree, plant a tree. And let’s come up with a solution to waste, that for sure does not belong in our National Parks, on our country roads, or on someone’s property who has acreage. Trust me, I made a similar comment about what we all do to our environment and the need in trying to find ways of doing things without hurting the planet. But, with that said, me giving my money to a multimillionaire or a government that uses my money to buy and sell carbon credits, does absolutely nothing for my planet, except make rich men and women richer. Each one of us becoming tiny farmers does much more good.”

As always I ask you to leave your thoughts and comments. I ask that you be productive (good) and not destructive (evil) in doing this as there is already too much hatred in the world. While leaving, I leave you with the following thoughts:

“until you dig a hole, you plant a tree, you water it and make it survive, you haven’t done a thing. You are just talking.” ~ Wangari Maathai..

The non-religious that believe in science should recognize in my reply the process of photosynthesis. Plants use sunlight to synthesize foods from carbon dioxide and water and their by-product oxygen.

For the Hindu, everything in the universe is sacred and whatever grows is more so.

Buddhism considers plants to be one-facultied life forms; plants are living organisms which grow in the earth and have the ability to convert sunlight into the energy they need for growth.

Genesis 1:29-30 — Then God said. “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you.”

Quran (Surah Al-A raf, 58) — From the land that is clean and good, by the will of its Cherisher, springs up produce, after its kind: but from the land that is bad, springs up nothing but that which is niggardly: thus do we explain the signs by various to those who are grateful.

The Midrash in Kohelet Rabbah teaches: “When God created the first man he took him and showed him all the trees of the Garden of Eden and said to him, ‘see my works, how beautiful and praiseworthy they are. And everything that I created, I created it for you. Be careful not to spoil or destroy  my world – for if you do, there will be nobody after you to repair it.'”

Try to plant a plant no matter where you are and let us try to begin to heal.

 

 

The Battle Within…

Conversations with two different people from my childhood prompted me to re-read my last post and others. I have taken you on several journeys that came about because of choices I have made. I had hoped that you could relate to mine because of your own experiences. None-the-less, by reliving my experiences with you and again feeling the same pain, I am freeing myself. I am putting my self in a position to expand my view, to become more aware of what was that I may have overlooked, what is now because of all of it, and what can be if I make different choices moving forward. I will need such awareness, fresh eyes, fresh mind, and fresh heart for when I begin to bring you the rest of the world.

In the re-reads, there are several things that I am becoming more and more aware of. First, the choice between what is good and what is evil and what comes along with each choice. I made mention in a discussion yesterday that when things exist in our lives like pride, temptation, greed, deception, envy, jealousy, anger, or hatred, that is because we are allowing the evil to exist or are choosing that which is evil. On the other hand, when we see compassion, gentleness, innocence, purity, love, humility, or integrity in our lives, that is because we are choosing a good and more righteous path.

The second, that both of these exist in each one of us. Otherwise, there would not exist things like war, starvation, human or animal trafficking, racism, and more. We cannot fully blame those that are in a position of power for these things – religiously, governmental, or corporate as we have our own power to change what is and have had some choice in raising the others to their positions. Likewise, we are or we recognize the good that exists when we ourselves or others rush into a fire to save a child, jump into running water to save an adult, bring food to someone who we know cannot afford their next meal, provide support or necessary things to those who are sick, or simply hold someone’s hand when all that is required of us is comfort and reassurance in a situation. When we ourselves are generous, compassionate, and charitable, then our good and light sides shine.

Lastly, is that most of us live a life of balance, whether we know it or not. The battle is daily and sometimes good wins and sometimes evil wins. If we choose to see it, there are moments of saving graces to wrong choices, moments of possible re-direction, and moments or times of love to show us its existence and its path. For example someone coming to the rescue of someone else who is about to be harmed, advice given to a man or woman walking a very destructive path that show them there are other ways, or the one example I will use of my life. I have been keenly aware, and have said as much, that many people I have truly and deeply loved in my life, were what many would say hardened by the street, street smart, or have had very rough or harsh existences in life. I am well aware that their presence in my life protected me from harm, brought me safety and security, and taught me immeasurable things. I just never thought of my existence in theirs and what I brought to them. I am now realizing that the possible gift I gave them was a vision and time of pure and unconditional love and a showing of its existence and its path.

I would like to know what you think, or hear what you have to say. So if you have any thoughts or inspirations, as always, please feel free to leave and share them.

 

Old Wounds..

Several things have occurred recently that have prompted this post. The first, an admittance from someone I knew in my teens. This admittance had me recognizing that I still needed to heal a very old wound. Damage caused of an ignorant act done by teens, to an 8 or 9-year-old, that has taken me forty some odd years to overcome. The second, while coloring the circles of my voting card, I realized this damage had me living a life coloring within the lines, playing by the rules of someone else’s game, and conforming myself to a society of what everyone else thought I should be. And lastly, a discussion about death, that had me realize that time is short and fleeting and that this is my life to live, my life to make the most of, my life to truly follow what I feel necessary and what is in my heart.

As I flow more into the person I was meant to be, follow the path that is truly me, and remember other brief times in my life where I hopped on and off this path, I recognize that I have felt and do feel more moments of feeling alone and like I do not fit in. As I close the old wound, let go, and say goodbye to that damaged 8 or 9-year-old, I recognize now that maybe I feel this way because I was always supposed to lead, whether by example or by holding someone’s hand in the chain and bringing them along for the journey. I am also recognizing the fear that came along with the damage really does not want to let go of me. I guess I am still learning how to kick it back or make it motivate me.

There have been many people and many moments that have helped heal the damage done to that 8 or 9-year-old. However, a few have pushed or pulled me to take great strides in the process. I would be remiss if I did not express my gratitude or wholehearted thankfulness to a few along my journey. Without them, I do not know if I would be where I am today. So, to the first, who saw me and did things with a teen age girl (who was probably still an 8 or 9-year-old at heart) that others would have maybe not done. To the second, who everyday, started the conversation “don’t you know how beautiful you are?” always got the response “no”. Eventually, when said enough the thoughts stick in your mind, even if you do not yet fully believe it. To the third, who began to show me the light, showed me the power of the spirit, showed me philosophy, and put me on the journey of understanding why people sometimes do what they do. And to the one now who is dealing with the final transformation, who puts up with me know matter what, does everything for me, and most importantly has shown me that we are all creatures of wounds created as children. A million thank you’s would never be enough to express how I feel for what you all have done to help heal me – meaning to or not.

There in lies the first truth and discussion that needs to be had. When we say we want to have the hard discussions and make the compromises to fix the ills of society, I am not sure that can be done until we admit the truths to what has damaged us as kids, face that, heal that, and forgive ourselves and those that have caused that. Every day someone new says to me “it is too late for us”. I disagree and continue to have hope and if I am supposed to lead, than so be it. It is my intent to start to have discussions about all kinds of things, and in them a beginning to the healing of us all. Truth is we all need each other to heal each other. For it is our damaged selves and the fear that comes along with them that is causing us to harm each other more, to restrict each other more, and to conform each other more. When really we should be helping each other heal, freeing each other from the confines of societal norms, and raising each other up. I hope you will be willing to take this painful, difficult, journey with me and bring along your friends and by all means add to the discussion if and when you so wish.

 

 

 

If All You See Is Ugly…

So today I want to share with you something I wrote several years ago. A lesson that I have had to learn many times in my life. The good news is, there was always someone who arrived in my life to remind me or re-teach me this lesson. And because of that I am aware that there is the need right now to share it, remind you of it, or step in to teach you this for the first time. The bad news is, for some it may only be a temporary lesson. I will have hope that it hits many of you to the core, and the lesson will be long-lasting as it is needed today more than ever.

Today we are living in such an angry, hate-filled world and it is really easy to get sucked into it, even if we do not want to. The negativity surrounds us, engulfs us, and overwhelms us. I too find it a struggle some days to not allow myself to get sucked in. Then just as I am about to make the leap, I feel it; the tug of love that burns so deeply within, begs to come out. When I let it out then I begin to see things a little differently. Before I know it, I am engulfed and overwhelmed by a completely different feeling that wants to explode and radiate out to save everyone else. Here is my poem that I hope will give us all a new perspective:

             
                      If All You See is Ugly

If all you see is ugly
Then surrounded by ugly you will be
I find, if you take a closer look
Some beauty you just might see

For with the rain come blossoms
on flowers, shrubs, and trees
That cannot grow until water 
has filled a vital need

Even with the summer heat 
or bitter winter cold, come
things that we forget about
Things we used to know

Things like bright blue skies,
butterflies, and seashells in the sand
Like the sun reflecting off the new fallen snow,
cocoa with marshmallows, and a caroling clan

And even in that angry crowd
someone is smiling on their way
If you allow their smile to greet you
it becomes a brand new day

So take this piece of advice from me
And look for the beauty in the ugly you see
You just might find that one day you'll awake
And surrounded by all that beauty, you will be.

By,
Laura Standrowicz
January 2009

Here lately I have been finding this poem comforting. It has been making me notice the smallest, simplest, and most beautiful things in my day. Things that bring a smile and joy to me. The more surrounded I am with them, the more I want to share them with others. I hope it does the same for you, brings you comfort in a not so comfortable day. I implore you to try it, to try to find the daily small things that add beauty to your life and be thankful for them. The more you see, the more I am sure you will want to point out to others, as it should be.

I am going to try to shut the negative out of my life and hope that you will find a way to as well. It will not be easy, but I have learned that baby steps are still steps in the right direction. And when I try to view my life, like that of the baby, whose steps I am taking, I recognize the awe that it is, just as they do.

What small things do you find beautiful? Can you point them out to all of us and bring a little beauty to our lives?

Sense of Community..

When I did my last post about hope, I wrote down the word community as if it were to be my next topic. I wrote it down as I recognized a problem with it. Where was it? My or our sense of community. I thought about it for a few days and then I looked up the meaning of the word. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines it as “a unified body of individuals, society at large, joint ownership or participation”. I realized the part of the problem with community I recognized was with my participation in it, or sometimes lack there of.

Do not get me wrong, I, like you, do have neighbors I truly enjoy and help as often as possible, and when or if they need help. I have local businesses I like to frequent to help the community financially. I have friends I like to spend time with, not only for their companionship, but for the many things I learn from them everyday. The problem is, when the not so good things show their ugly heads, like crime, drug addiction, drug sales, government corruption, etc. where am I? and am I part of the problem in their taking over of society? or will I be part of the solution?

I have recognized one thing, fear does not lead me to the light or the positive. It only leads and leaves me alone, in the dark, or to a place where I am numbing myself from life. It has kept me from approaching others, from feeling confident in myself, from feeling like I fit in, from knowing my worth, and more. I am sure we will find in our journey for solutions to problems that fear is somewhere in the mix, if not the cause. I am also learning that it is truly a powerful thing and has to constantly be kicked back or knocked down. When it is, and when I can really look at problems in the light, then I can begin to find the why? and come up with some how to fixes.

As I journey closer to the light and try to completely come from a place of love, the questions become much clearer? What makes someone commit a crime? Rob a store, car, or home? Rape someone? Murder someone? Are they mentally impaired? Are they evil? What makes someone want to and do numb themselves from living? Or even existing? What makes someone want to keep someone else numb? Are laws hurting more than they are helping? Are everyone who breaks these laws being held to the same standard? If the law makers, protectors, and enforcers are breaking the law should they not also be held accountable? If the lawmakers, protectors, and enforcers are not following the law, why should anyone else? In our smaller communities, shouldn’t we want to fix all these things? if we can, why don’t we?

None of this is going to be fixed overnight, or even tomorrow. It will take some time and probably be pretty painful. It will never be fixed with resistance, anger, or hate in my opinion. Those will only further divide and add more chaos. I hope I am not alone, when I say, I am tired of hearing that it is too late and we are too far gone. As long as love exists I will refuse to give up. So I will begin to engage more, and begin to listen and understand the whys in my community. I will continue to be a part of trying to heal the ills. And I will do it in the way Ephesians 4:3 tells me to “make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace”. I hope you will do the same.

For when I think of the word community, my thoughts flow to the entire purpose of our existence. Are we not alive to share our lives with each other? To share each moment of our love, our joy, our fun, our laughter, as well as, our pain, our sadness, and our grief? I’m learning that is why I am here. How about you?

 

 

HOPE..

It is my belief that each of our lives has been full of tragedies, small and large disappointments, and loss. When these happen, we end up in a dark place of fear, anger, hate, or grief. The larger these are, the deeper into this dark place we fall. The more intimate the loss, the greater the grief. Sometimes we are so deep into this darkness and grief that it seems we will never find our way out. We must somehow try. Each day we must try to find a way to hope for a better tomorrow, to hope that we will find our way out of the darkness.

What is hope? Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines it as “to desire with  expectation of fulfillment, to long for with expectation of attainment”.  Hope is not anything someone can give us, or promise us. It is a place that we ourselves must find a way to reach in our own lives. Others may help guide us to a place of hope, by showing us beauty, light, love, support, laughter, kindness, and anything that is good in life. We, however, must desire to be their ourselves. We must have the drive and determination to get there. Once we are there, slowly we can find our way out of the darkness. The journey begins by hoping for the smaller, simpler things and increasing the size and intensity the closer we are to the light.

Recently I was reminded, in conversations, of some of the dark things that occurred in my past. I allowed my memory to take me on a journey back, not because I wanted to again end up in a place of darkness, or relive my grief, but instead to remind myself of my moments of hope. Hope for help to arrive in a bad situation, hope that a boy would one day find me attractive, hope that a man would one day love all of me, hope that I might find best friends to replace ones that were lost, hope to remain safe in travels, hope for a better job, hope for more money, hope for a nicer car and home, hope that I never stop learning, and hope that I one day finally realize, and truly believe to my core, that I am worthy.

In my journey back, do you know what I realized? That in my dark times I was so closed and alone that nothing could penetrate the bubble or wall I had built around myself. In my times of hope just the opposite occurred. In my times of hope I found help arriving in sometimes unexpected and unusual ways from really unexpected people. I found the most awesome and wonderful of people came into my life and truly loved me, even if that time of love was temporary. I found better jobs, made more money, had nicer things and realized that many of those things were so unimportant in my life. Some of my hopes I am still working on. I truly do hope to never stop learning and growing as a person. And although it took me a very long time to believe that I am worthy, I have also found, it is a constant battle to remain in that mindset. And so I continue to have hope to always know and value my worth in every and all situations.

I am here to let you know, that you definitely are not alone. To remind each of us that with a little love we can help each other find the hope that we need to live and walk fully in the sun. I am not saying there will not be tragedy or loss. I am only saying that in those times, if you or I can get there, to hope, the things we need, the things that will add beauty, joy, and light to our lives will be able to find their way in. But you, like me, must be open to their arrival and that requires hope.

So are you hopeful? What are some of your hopes? Do you need help finding hope? Please let us know

Color My World..

Before I get bogged down with the responsibilities of life, I wanted to write about something that has been on my mind for several weeks now. It is about childhood, what comes along with it, and a reminder of those things. Recently a sibling reminded me about our childhood, and today an exercise told me to think back to when I was ten. Probably the last time I was pure and innocent. Probably around the time I started noticing we begin to judge each other, make fun of each other, and begin to become truly afraid of things.  Lately, I have been hunting for that ten-year old, to bring her back into my life. She needs to remind me to be less afraid, more pure of heart and innocent, and integral in my decision-making.

As I write, my husband even brings up his childhood. His was a very difficult one and so I ask him “even though your childhood was difficult, are there still things you are grateful for”? His answer yes. My first thought as well as I tell him about something my sister brought up. She reminded me of the times my mother would put bricks in the oven and get them good and hot. Then she would take them out, one by one, wrap them in linen towels, and hand one to each one of us for putting under the covers at the foot of our beds. Yes we would wake up in the middle of the night after kicking a cold, hard brick. But, as I think back to those days, I think of the things I took away from being handed a hot brick. I learned the practicality of using a hot brick for warmth if the need ever arose again in the future. As important, I learned the meaning of gratitude. Gratitude for a mother who used old school ways to make sure her children were warm at night, gratitude in the realization that I do not think I have ever slept in a cold bed since, and gratitude that I get to remember not only with my siblings, but with others out here who have experienced similar things.

On a spiritual level I recognize that people of all faiths teach that we are children of our creators. If we stop to think about it, as I said earlier, children are pure of heart and innocent. Maybe we are supposed to retain these qualities in adulthood, or maybe we are simply supposed to interject them into our daily lives, or as often as we can or are reminded to do so. Maybe we have children and grandchildren because they continue to bring us back to those moments of our own pureness and innocence. I am not sure, although I do believe that it is something for us to think about.

I am also reminded of how many times I have said to people in the last ten years, that I may be growing old and have responsibilities, but I will never ever stop being a kid. So it is in that spirit that I suggest another project for us all. Try to remember something you loved to do as a child and do it. For me it was coloring and I must have known this day was coming because I did pack my 64 Crayolas and coloring books when I moved away from home. Now to hunt for them, take them out, take a little me-child time, and color my world. For those of you that have kids or grand kids, don’t just hand them the clay or finger paints, sit down and partake with them. They will get so much more out of it and so won’t you. You may even create a masterpiece.

With that said, if any of you want to show or tell us what you have created, by all means, please share it. You may be surprised with what the child in each one of us can create when we bring them back.