Business As Usual

I am admittedly not much of a city person or a highway driver. I prefer the slow and go of the backroads. I enjoy looking at the scenery as I drive to my destinations. But, this morning, I drove through the inner city on my way back from a doctors visit. It made me sad to see the sheer poverty of it all. The closed businesses, and the run down buildings. It made me think, how do we get here? How do places like this end up in such dire straights? how do we fix it? Can it even be fixed? The first thought that came to my mind is — this is just business as usual.

Who is to blame for things ending up this way? I brought this up in discussion, with my husband, after arriving home. We talked about a little grocery store up the street from our house, owned by a neighbor. My husband talked about how they will let produce rot, instead of knocking down the price before it does. That is when I chimed in. Maybe we all are to blame and just do not want to say so, or take our part in the responsibility. Pointing the finger is so much easier, isn’t it?

First thing I said, was the small business person has to get better at finding the balance between earning a living, and doing right by their customers. Why not, knock down the price so the food doesn’t go to waste? Then again, waste means loss, and loss is good for writing off and lowering taxes. Broken items go back to distributors, who guess what, write them off as a loss on their taxes. And up the chain it goes.. Shaking my head, business as usual.

The second thing I said, is people need to support their local businesses, instead of going to the big stores and paying a cheaper price. And while I am talking about big stores, how did we end up in an era, where we say that businesses are to big to fail? How did we get to a place when a business requires a bailout from a government formed by the people, for the people? I suppose we can view it all as neighbor helping neighbor. Of course we are helping the employees, our neighbors. But, who is making the decisions, that are bringing about the failures? and where are they in the fixing process? Where is their financial, or otherwise, sacrifice for their bad decisions? How do they walk away with large sums of money?

And what is the governments part in all of this? Setting laws that may hinder competition, that have people creating losses to avoid taxation, that allow a business to become so large that its failure would be devastating, or that create laws that help one fraction of society – while hurting another. We just had a changing of the guard, so to speak, here in America. It was brought in with a call for unity. I will do what I do with every changing of the guard, have hope, give them opportunity to act, pay attention, etc.. Still or already, we see protestors causing destruction in multiple major cities; Portland, Seattle, Denver, etc.. I am saddened for the people who live in those cities, and wonder why it continues. When will it not be business as usual?

I am not much for a big anything. I think the bigger something gets, the more it is about its own survival and control, then it is about the service to the people. With that said, I suppose, I do not have any of the answers, and would like to depend on the goodness of us all to bring about change that needs to happen. Some of us taking risks again to follow our passions with a business. Some of us supporting that person in their endeavor. Some of us helping with clean up and rebuilding. Some of us kicking back crime, instead of letting it continue. Maybe finding new ways of punishment. You destroy a business, you help rebuild it. I hope one day our inner cities can flourish like they once did with small businesses. Maybe one day we will find a way to get there. What I do know right now, however, is business as usual is not working.

I suppose that is my thought on the subject, feel free to leave yours. Please try not to be critical, instead be constructive. Maybe all our minds and hearts together can find the solutions necessary. Until next time – peace out – love to you all.

My Questions On Privilege – White or Otherwise

Dear Readers, I am here today because I read an article, that both a sibling and friend shared. The name of the article “What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege” written by Lori Lakin Hutcherson and published July 23, 2016. Here is the link: https://onbeing.org/blog/what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-opinion-on-white-privilege/ . I think it is a good article to read to enhance our perspectives and gain a little understanding. I have said twice in the last two days, “what I am learning in this life.. just when I think I know, I do not know”. I say this, as I am curious and believe that openness to learning anything and everything is essential. After reading the article, I had my own questions of Lori or anyone else who could answer them. It is my belief some of the things that have brought us here are our… fear, silence, anger, hatred, lack of kindness, and an extreme lack of forgiveness.

I will state for the record, for those that do not know, I am white. I have also tried to live a life in kindness, compassion, love, understanding, and respect. I know I have totally failed at times. Probably more often than I like to think or admit. Some will be shocked to read, that I have felt more times in my life, like I did not fit in anywhere. Maybe we all feel like that and just stay silent to that truth. In high school, I was never invited to anyone’s parties, why? I am not sure. But, although I had friends and/or acquaintances in the groups, as they liked to separate too, or were forced to separate too, I never really felt in any of them. I rarely did drugs or drank, I was smart and maybe even nerdy, played softball, sang in the choir, and marched in the color guard part of the band. Maybe I was a little bit of all of them, or not enough of any of them. It becomes clearer to me daily, that there are more people, that feel the same way, or have felt the same way. Maybe we all do. It is difficult to know and feel our own worth, in this world, and stand in that truth no matter what or who we are..

I will also say I have addressed, in a previous post, a similar topic, when someone whom I grew up with, told me “my white privilege” was showing. Her saying that, truly hurt me to the core. My intention was never to hurt her, and I hope she knows that. I would like to think my heart has always been in the right place. She and I have been separated for a long time, neither of us really knows the experiences of the other, this is why I have questions to anyone who can answer them, and why I started this blog. For us to find a way to put our anger, hurt, and hatred aside, and begin to know those same things in others. Or even better to celebrate the wins, the accomplishments, the joys, and find peace with others. Although others may feel it necessary to be heard or seen, I have never been a big fan of destruction, anger, or hatred bringing about change, because end result usually is someone else getting hurt. Is there a way to make the change from the positive and understanding?? Is there a way to make change without someone being hurt??

Back to my questions to the article: Can someone feel those same things that Lori felt from members of their own race, ethnicity, sex, religion, etc? I think I have and my husband as well. For sure we have felt them from people of an upper financial status.. My biggest question, however, and really one that may bring other questions up in the conversation: Can someone have White Privilege and still have experienced exactly or near exactly the same things as Lori but in reverse?

Here are a few of my examples:

Example one… In my late teens, on a bus trip to New York City, wandering about the city seeing as much as I could. I had heard about 42nd street and the area where New York has celebrated New Years for years. So I wanted to see it. As I got to the area, I proceeded to walk down 42nd street to see what it was like. About four blocks down or more, a man (not my race) put his hand on my shoulder and said excuse me miss. He was preaching on one of the corners. As I turned around, he asked me “what in the world are you doing here?” I suppose I had not noticed I was the only white person in a several block radius. I told him “I was just sight seeing”. He said “not in this neighborhood”. He told me to go back the way I came, to not look back, and to not take it slowly. Feeling afraid now, I made my way back to Times Square and carried on. Maybe my privilege thought I could go there? Maybe there wasn’t any privilege at all? And what exactly did he save me from?

Example two… In my mid twenties, I moved from one coast to the other. On my drive I wanted to see as much as I possibly could. One of those things was the St Louis Archway. I had no map, no directions, just kept driving towards it. Low on gas, and probably not too many blocks away, I stopped at a gas station to fill up. I had not noticed I was the only white person there, until I went into pay. As I asked the cashier (not my race) to start my pump, he said “Girl, what in the f__k are you doing here?” I responded “trying to get gas and see the Archway”. He said “get your gas and get the hell out of this neighborhood as fast as you can”. Afraid again, I got my gas and got back on the freeway, never did I make it to the Archway. What did he save me from? Was it feeling like Lori felt? or was it more harm?

Example Three… In my later twenties, I had a friend from work (also not my race). We would go out after work, either near work, or to a place I frequented. She had taken me to her home, her cousins home, her neighborhood. I had met her family and close friends. We shared a lot of love and laughter all of us. One day, she wanted to take me to where she frequently went. So we dressed up and made our way. The evening itself was nice. I was the only white person in the establishment, and several made their way over and introduced themselves. We danced and had fun. What I had not noticed, nor did my friend, is a group of about 8 to 10 women had gathered and were whispering among themselves. They had waited until we were ready to leave. They followed the two of us out, yelling for me to stop. They used racial slurs and called me every expletive in the book, among other things. My friend grabbed me and threw me behind her. She gave me directions to follow, to get me safely to the vehicle. She had put herself between me and the mob I will call them. Each step we took back, they took forward. She, with amazing courage, stood up to them and saved me at the same time. She apologized over and over and over again for putting me in harms way. She thought more of humanity as did I. I told her no apology necessary.. We knew love..

Today, my husband and I live in a predominantly black neighborhood, and we do have some that given the opportunity, blow their hatred our way. Others will apologize for the actions of their relatives, and friends. Living here, I have also experienced Lori’s truth, being pulled over in an auto we own. Truth is, I know they thought we were not white, but could not tell through the tinted windows. I know that it was every bit of wrong, wrong, wrong to be pulled over without committing a crime, or breaking a law. I also know my experience, was probably a whole lot different, then Lori’s husbands. So please do not think I am not willing to understand or hear truths that need to be told. Everybody has truths, and I think the creator knows what they are. I think we just need to share them with openness, kindness, gentleness, and love, and NOT hatred.

I would like to think that I have not viewed every officer, the way I viewed the one that pulled us over. I would like to think that I have not put people in groups or viewed them in that manner. Maybe I have and do not know it. Maybe, people group themselves out of fear, safety, compatibility, etc. I would like to think that kindness and respect go along way, and have tried to use them in many a situation. I have recognized those things from many others as well, like the two men in the first two examples. I think there is so much more to what each of us has experienced and maybe it is time to take each individual as they appear, to be kind to them, to respect them, to forgive them, and to love them. Maybe it is time to see each other as God sees us – perfect in who we are.. What are your thoughts??

# Girl On A Plane

# Girl On A Plane our conversation has been ringing in my ears for days now and I wonder how you must be feeling and doing in the chaos that surrounds us. I hope you are well and still effecting people in the same way you effected me. It saddens me to see that when much of the world appears to be finally in solidarity on a given cause, hate, anger, crime, destruction, and even murder overshadow the unity that exists. Maybe they just highlight that we may not be as unified as we think or would like to hope.

I wish that everyone can have a conversation like we had. That everyone could hear the truth you told “That if you called me a racist, then you would be racist too or vice versa.” Reinterpreted – the point being was that we each needed to stop seeing our outer shells and what made us different and begin to recognize the light that shines in us both and burn that as bright as we can. I would like to hope that my blogs out here have had a positive effect on people’s lives. Maybe in some small way, a chance for people to look at themselves and become the change they want to see. In my personal realm, I see the positive shining like a beacon. I continue to offer it, and receive it in return. I am learning not to believe what I am fed anymore, but I wonder how long it will take the mass to join me. We have all suffered in our own ways, we have all rejoiced in our own ways. Why is that so hard for us to see in each other??

As I sit here watching a media telling me that the protests are mostly peaceful as cities burn, business are ransacked, people are killed trying to protect their lively hoods, their families, their communities, I search for the truth. Are there peaceful protests? Yes.. What is the change that the protesters seek? and where do they seek it? Does anyone really know? Can the majority of us find forgiveness for ourselves, and each other, for the sins of our past, present, and future, to join together, before the evil burns everything to the ground? I sure hope so.

I live trying, these days, to not allow big government, big business, big religion, big celebrities, and big media have enough power over my thought process, and emotions, that I am blinded to factual data. I believe we all have been hoodwinked for a long time and our emotions keep us from seeing clearly. I believe we have all been fighting to find, know, and feel what our worth is and to walk in the knowledge that we are all worthy. I’m learning every day and redefining everyday the terms love and light. Facts matter, but does anyone care what they are anymore. Tell a lie becomes the truth.

I fear we will be in these rocky times for some time, that what is true and factual may be harder and harder to define. Your truth may not be mine, but I will continue to be the light of love I was created to be through it all. We need that now more than ever. I will hope that we will find the answers to where we go once the chaos is settled down. And I truly hope that it is in the direction of loving our neighbors as ourselves.. Be well #Girl On A Plane – I hope you will respond with your thoughts — and to all the rest of you, your comments, add ins, etc. are also welcome here.

My Vote Should Count

So today I want to address something that was said recently that scared me, and really should scare any individual, in any country around the world, that allows for voting of elected officials. The quote was “For precisely this reason the President’s misconduct cannot be decided at the ballot box, for we cannot be assured that the vote will be fairly won”. I do realize the context in which this was meant. That the allegations are that the President asked a foreign entity to look into something involving an opposing candidate. Let me ask you, was it not the same thing when a national committee paid for information from foreign sources to go after a then opposing candidate?? And then used and lied about that information to allow surveillance of the opposing candidates campaign?? Or when our elected officials or former Presidents interject themselves or their opinions into elections in other countries?? What is correct? What is not correct? What is right? What is wrong? And more importantly, where do we go from here?

Let me tell you in the asking of these questions, I am getting what information I am inquiring about from watching congressional hearings, and reading released governmental documents, requested through the freedom of information act, or official documents released from foreign governments, or both. I do watch all media to see what they are saying, including some foreign. But long ago lost faith in a great deal of media, as I watched them continue to feed me, what they wanted me to know, sometimes found to be completely out of context, when I went back to do my homework.. There are some people I completely follow, as every time I have done my homework, I have found in the research that they have told me information in integrity and allowed me to think for myself.

Back to that quote, what I really want to say, is that my whole life and probably yours, President’s misconduct, character, prior voting records, integrity, possible religious beliefs, etc. etc., have always been a thought or a consideration to me when I enter a ballot box. So are you then saying to me, that I am not smart enough, or awoke enough, or enlightened enough, to discern for myself who I believe is someone I want in office. Is that what you are trying to tell me?? That I cannot be trusted to decipher for myself all the information?? Or are you afraid that we all might wake up to the fact that you have been keeping us in the dark and trying to uneducate us for generations?? Is Richard Dreyfuss not correct in fighting to put civics back into the American Education System?? I am so with him. As an example, I will say I asked someone yesterday a question about the writing of America’s National Anthem, and although they did have some knowledge, the most important, poignant part of the history, the loss of human life, they had no idea about.

Maybe you are trying to make me aware of the continued computer hacking, and/or data breaching, of large technology companies. Some of which, have admitted to paying some of these hackers. Maybe you are afraid of someone hacking into the computer systems used in our electoral process. Well then, I guess it is a good thing, that I still get a paper ballot that I fill circles in with my pen, that can be looked at and counted without the use of a machine or technology. Maybe you are truly concerned about the process, I am just writing to let you know that my heart, my brain, and my soul, fear that you are not.

So my last question, are you telling me that you are going to remove my vote?? For if an election cannot be decided at a ballot box, where then does it get decided?? And who then become the kings/queens/dictators/controllers that take that decision away from me. I am here to stand to tell you that my vote should count, and the votes of every human on this planet, who vote in elections should also count. I beg of all people, read and get to know the Constitutions in your States and Countries, get to know what people in power say your rights are. Remember however, that whatever has given you life, has also given you a brain to learn, grow, and decipher, and a heart to love, feel, and sometimes hate, I ask you to choose and use those things wisely. Some already do not have the luxury others have. I will end here and ask you for your thoughts. I ask you also to make them positive, and constructive, and be willing to read and/or hear what others have to say. For only when we are willing to walk in someone else’s shoes can true change begin. Until next time, much love and light to you all..

All Words Matter…

Finding time to write, to communicate, and to reach you has been difficult for me, that is why I am out here so infrequently. It is not that I do not want to be here more often, it is that I need to learn balance, something that eludes me, or maybe I’m finding in other ways. You see, I must also pay bills, tend to my home, close projects started, and attempt to find joy in it all. Keeping my heart open has allowed me to find that, joy in doing what needs to be done, whether it be tending my garden, fixing my vehicle, working on my book, or conversing with customers at my job. When it is meant to be, however, there are moments that appear, that push me to come and talk to you. There are things I find so important, that I know I must not wait. Last night was one of them.

A simple sentence out of the mouth of someone who has the ability to reach millions. Probably overlooked by many. Yet reached and rang in my ears, three rooms away. They said “The only words that matter right now are the ones out of the mouth of our President”. I said “NO, NOT TRUE”. There are no limits to my disagreement with that statement. Even using the term I vehemently disagree does not seem enough. I disagree enough for sure to come and talk to you and get your opinions. Real change happens in our discussions with each other, that is why I try to have them with every stranger that crosses my path.

Do not get me wrong, I agree that the words coming out of our leader matter. I sometimes wish some were not spoken, but it is not my place to judge, they are human, as am I. They have their purpose, as do I. My disagreement with the statement above comes from ONLY their words mattering. I BELIEVE… all of our words matter, every single one of them, from every single one of us, and those words come with great responsibility and we should be well aware of their intent and delivery.

A large part of me wanted to point out to that person that words mattered to a nine year old, who lost confidence in her beauty because of them, words mattered to every child that felt bullied by another, that words mattered in the building of the hate and destruction in some enough for them to take the lives of many. Somehow I am sure that person already knows what I am talking about. They know that some of the words come from strangers, and from people that are loved and trusted. They come from every day people that are allowed to effect us, guide us, teach us, and yes lead us. They even come from people like them and me.

I also wanted to tell that person, that like many or most of us, I have learned that it is not necessarily the word or words being uttered, it is the intent of how they are used or how the heart is projecting and receiving them. I find it funny that the same two words, being said to me, can make me laugh, make me cry, and make me angry depending on what person, situation, and emotion is behind them. Sadly, we allow powers of different kinds to separate us, divide us, categorize us, and manipulate us into believing things that are not necessarily true, so that when words are spoken, persons, intent and emotion become completely convoluted.

What is the fix? How do we fix it? I am not sure I know. What I do know is that every single one of us, individually, and as groups, needs to know and understand that words do matter. They can cut like a knife or can build a mountain. May we all choose wisely. For me, in the chaos of life, I continue to try to walk in love, faith, and forgiveness. I continue to try to deliver my words in a manner I hope you think about, as I also desperately try to stay open to hear your words. I have repeated recently, and continue to hear the words, of a song whose lyrics were written by Siedah Garrett, and whose music was arranged by Glen Ballard; recorded by Michael Jackson “I’m starting with the man in the mirror… I’m asking him to change his ways… No message could have been any clearer… If you want to make the world a better place… Take a look at yourself, and then make a change…”.

I suppose my point… We are in this together, and maybe we should all consider our words, our actions, and our reactions, before looking to anyone else, no matter what kind of power we think anyone else has over us or ours over them. I ask you, what do you think? And as always, your thoughts, your words, your truths, are welcomed here in hopes that they are positive, constructive, and help us all heal.

America.. She Is Beautiful..

Today America celebrates her independence. As Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines it “the quality or state of being independent: Freedom”. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines independent as “not dependent, not subject to control by others: self-governing”. I sat and thought about these definitions in great length today, wondering how or whether they fit in my existence. I thought about my husband, who does much for me. I thought about the things I bring to the table. Though maybe we both depend on the other for different things, neither controls the other, and maybe that is the point. We coexist to the benefit of both, we serve each other, teach each other, and love each other.

I suppose I have looked at America as an expansion of this thought process. The grand experiment of just and moral beings taking part in their own governance. Adding our own specific talents to the benefit of all, and at times self-sacrificing for the betterment, willing to teach, and be taught. My heart has always believed in the idea, along with the founders, that “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”. I think Thomas Paine put it best “The cause of America is in a great the cause of all Mankind. Where, some say, is the king of America? I’ll tell you, friend, He reigns above.”

Though many of the founding fathers felt and thought the same, John Adams said “It is religion and morality alone which can establish the principles upon which freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free constitution is pure virtue.” I may agree John, religion as defined by Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary “the service and worship of God, or the supernatural” and morality “particular moral principles or rules of conduct, conformity to ideals of right human conduct” should make for a solid foundation. So why do I feel like the foundation is cracking?

How did we get to a place where we no longer say we are a Constitutional Republic, but instead a Democracy? How did we get to a place where corruption exists? How did we get to a place where many feel overburdened and underappreciated? How did we get to a place where our hate motivates us and not our love or moral compass? How did we get to a place where many do not believe in a higher power? How did we get to a place that many think they can do truly abhorrent things in the name of religion? What is truth and what is not? Where is personal responsibility in the scheme of all these things?

I ask these questions, as I perceive these at times. Yet even with those perceptions, for all that she is, and has been, for the mistakes she has made, and will make, she (America) is still the best country to wake up in everyday, and I am grateful to get to do just that. So I will celebrate that I am alive and all life is beautiful. I will celebrate that I am free to make choices, including the choice of whether to do something bad or something good. I will celebrate that I have the knowledge that their are rewards and consequences for each of my choices. I will celebrate that I have the ability to pursue things that truly make me happy. Today, with you, I will celebrate her, I will celebrate those that fought to form her, and those that fight to keep her, and I will continue to wish that each of you, if not today, one day will get to celebrate the same things too, wherever you are.

It’s About How You Say It..

I’ve been wanting to share with you something I read ten days ago. Somehow life has been getting in my way. I have recognized, however, in that life, there have been signs pushing me back to the topic at hand. The topic words, what we say, and how we say it. What I read began with a bible verse and then was expanded upon by another writer. I couldn’t agree more so I wanted to do my own expansion. The verse is this “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” ~ Matthew 12:34

It saddens me that we continue to go back towards censorship, instead of heading towards the root of the problem; the heart. I believe in the freedom of speech, that everybody’s truth should be heard. Whether it be by just one who can change the life of the speaker, or whether it be by many. The problem is all too often we let our wounds and our hurt, lead us to anger. Then there becomes a need to blow this anger out, and this is what becomes the platform we use to speak. I have said multiple times recently, that the only two things I can truly control on this planet are my action and my reaction. My journey is teaching me how to feel the hurt my heart feels, to stand strong in its truth, and not react in anger. For when my heart feels such anger and hatred, nothing good comes out of my mouth. It is my desire, maybe not yours, to live a life not having others feel what I feel sometimes, or if they feel it, feel it in a gentler way.

With that said, when I say life has been giving me signs to expand on this topic, the first was the very next day. I am fortunate that my daily life floats complete strangers in and out of it. I ended up in a conversation with a complete stranger about many things, but among them were paying for his children’s education. I felt compelled to share with him my life experiences when it came to that, and further thoughts on the topic. What came out of his mouth next, the first sign bringing me back here. His exact words to me “I really do not want to leave. I could talk to you all day. I will be back just to talk to you. Because sometimes we really do not want to hear what is being said, but when it is said in a nicer way, we are more open to hearing it.” My response, besides letting him know I was meant to hear him say that, was to tell him about what I read and my desire to write about it. I knew that, if for no one else but myself, my mouth, or in this case hands, had to speak what my heart was full of.

What is my heart full of?? A desire to help heal. But, I cannot do this if I react in anger to anger, or react in hate to hate. I can only do this if I take the hurt and feel it, and then truly hear what is said, digest what is said, try to understand why it is said in that way, and then respond from a better place in my heart, a more vulnerable place in my heart. When I do this, although I am saying the same thing, although someone may not want to hear it, they are more open to listening and hearing. And guess what, so aren’t I.

If this post does nothing else, I hope it makes you think about what your heart feels. I hope it further makes you stop and think, that what you say is coming out in a tone according to what is in your heart. I personally prefer to raise others as I raise, not destroy what has attempted to destroy me. We all need to heal, and this can only occur with love, not more hate. Whether you agree or not, we want to get to know you, to know what you think. To learn from you and hopefully have you learn from us. So when you are ready to join in, please do. Healing will truly only come when we have a desire to get to know each other. Until then, thanks for coming to hear or read what I have to say. From my heart to yours – love and light – may they be what is in your heart.

Are Walls Immoral?

I always like to begin by defining words, so that I know if I have to redefine them in my personal existence. With that said, I want to define the word immoral. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines immoral as “inconsistent with purity or good morals”. What then are morals? Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines them as “of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior”. Now that I know this, the question then becomes do I believe it to be right or wrong behavior to erect a wall.

If I am going to speak honestly in answering this question, then I will begin in this way. As a human, more than once, I have built a wall around my heart to protect it from pain and breakage. Recently, I was in a discussion with a couple, whom I both enjoy the company of, and respect. In that discussion, I had to deal with a truth, that I had lived, where I live now, for 14 years, and I have never felt comfortable enough to ask anyone to go dancing, or shopping, or to a movie. Did I have friends? Did I have people that liked me? Of course, at least I thought so. So why wasn’t I inviting them to do things with me? To share my life? In this journey, and in my awakenings of what love is, I realized that I had built a wall. I had kept people at arms lengths. I had them close enough to enjoy their company on my terms. But, far enough away that losing them, in whatever way that term means, wouldn’t crush my heart. In my journey, I am making the attempt, to bring these walls down. However, evil does exist on this planet, that means that I will always need some sort of barrier around my heart, to protect it from total devastation. I guess then, there is a need for walls to protect. At least until the only thing that exists, is love.

As I write, my mind wanders to the affluent and powerful. Business leaders, athletes, singers, actors, politicians, national leaders, world leaders, religious leaders, and to some extent homeowners, many of whom erect walls around their nations, their fortunes, their properties, their homes. Why? Is it because they want to protect themselves from harm? To protect their fortunes? Do they want their deserved privacy? Is it all of the above? And if they think in this way, then why is it not right for the impoverished to think the same way? Do the affluent and powerful believe they have more right, than the homeless, who are far more often prayed upon? Is any of this truth? I am finding in our separation from each other, the truth is much harder to come by and find. I cannot, and will not, speak for anyone else, but myself. In honesty, I have put up barriers to protect my home, my property, my fortune, my privacy, to keep myself from harm and possible evils out. Does it work? To some extent, very possibly and/or probably, as a deterrent if nothing else, or maybe just for peace of mind.

Here is where I find myself, having to admit, if I use any kind of wall in my existence, then others deserve it in theirs. Sadly, as long as evil and hate exist, there will probably be a need for them. I have said before and will say again, that the only thing that is more powerful than, and removes evil, is love; true and unconditional, not what comes out of our mouths, instead what comes out of our hearts. Maybe one day, I will be more Christlike or Godlike, and be able to walk in a pure, fearless, unadulterated love. To be able to stand in love, no matter what the evil is presented to me, even if that evil means death. For now, as I take baby steps in learning how to get there, do I think walls are immoral? Not necessarily. A necessity? I guess, sadly. So what do you think? Have any thoughts? Truths you want to admit to or share? Have any walls in your existence? Are your walls immoral? Let us know what you think whenever you are ready.

Common Sense & Compromise

Today I am going to begin by defining both of those words, or phrases, because I think we all need to hear and think about their meanings. Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines common sense as “sound prudent judgement, the unreflective opinions of ordinary men” and compromise as “the process or a result of settlement by arbitration or by consent reached by mutual concessions, something blending the characteristics of two others, a committal to something prejudicial, to bind by mutual agreement, to adjust or settle by mutual concessions”. I bring these words up as I watch a nation so willing to throw them both out a window. A nation picking sides, and each side saying the other side is made of bullies, and not recognizing so isn’t theirs.

Are we not all forgetting the reason many came to this nation, or emulated it, or parts of it. It is because a long time ago a group of men, took their opinions, their anger, their disdain, and put it aside. They looked into themselves and recognized they were but ants in a world we may never know everything about. They realized there had to be something more. In that spirit, and with an attempt at morality in their heart, and a fear that if they made wrong decisions there would be painful consequences, they began to build a nation. Somehow, they found a way to compromise and set a foundation for the rest of us. Sad truth, many do not even know what that foundation is, as they choose not to learn for themselves. Many have listened to the beliefs of others and trusted in their guidance. This foundation may not be perfect and it is complex. Even with it, choices and actions, have been far from perfect. But, the foundation becomes even more imperfect and complex when the pendulum swings to the extremes and laws are created to benefit the some at the expense of the others. Shouldn’t we be willing to share the benefits and the expense?

I sit here today thinking about a time when my mother took a sister of mine, who I used to fight with constantly, and sat her and I knee to knee in chairs. She forced us to sit there and look at each other without speaking, without movement. The anger and hate, the two of us wanting to force our wills on the other, was so palpable, as they say, you could have cut it with a knife. Life, however, is funny in how it teaches us lessons to learn about ourselves and each other. Through those lessons, my sister and I, have learned to be a little more like each other. Now we together, love at such depths, we join to try to bring beauty, love, and light into this world. Oh evil does exist in each one of us, so we both fail at times, that is a given. We are humans, we are made to fail and to have loss, and we are also made to succeed and have gain. The issue is finding balance in it all, finding common sense and compromise in it all. For if I succeed too greatly, then someone suffers greatly, and vice versa. It is that way with all things in life.

What are the answers, I know I definitely do not have them all, and am unsure if any one of us does really. I believe, and am of the same cloth, as those that say we have big problems, that need big discussions, and maybe bigger solutions. I just wonder which generation is going to be like our founders, which generation will find a way to common sense and compromise. I continue to look back to the founders and why they came to the conclusions they came to. I look back at their arguments, disagreements, and compromises. I try to view where they came from and why they would decide what they decided. I respect their framework and the need for it. I was hoping it would be my generation to stand, I just am not sure anymore. I will repeat the words said in many songs, in many books, in many forms “Don’t you think it is time”. Don’t you think it is time again for common sense and compromise? I do. That is why I am here wanting to know your truth and wanting you to know mine. So that we can find a way to live and balance in the middle.

Victim To Freedom

Earlier today I was in a conversation about a man who is operating at a very high physical level for his age. His job, or what it is he gets paid for, is something that he loves, as it should be. I made the statement “he may be able to do this because he gets massages to help himself physically, he meditates to help himself spiritually, he takes the things no longer serving him and writes them down on a piece of paper, burns them at the beginning of the year, and sets new goals to help himself energetically and mentally.” The response to me was “well, he can afford to do all that because he is rich”. My add in “what does rich have to do with it? Maybe that is why he is rich, because he changes his mental attitude from victim to freedom”.

A little while later, watching a game, one of the announcers says “if they lose, do you think they will blame, being a victim of their having to travel so much, for their loss?” Then he added, that he is sure it will come up. This made me think about yours, as well as, my life choices when we are victims of situations. In my earlier conversation, I had said something to the effect of “If I choose to mentally stay stuck in the thought that I am a victim, then I will stay stuck there.” I further went on to say “that the announcer had a point, that the losing team could choose to be the victim and say their circumstances made them lose, or they could just step up and say they were out played, turn the page, and move to freedom.” I guess we will see what they choose in the coming days.

Point of this post is to pass on to you, a few things I have learned in my life, or that I continue to learn. These are: that when I no longer view myself as the victim, and I make even a small insignificant change, that change can bring about huge results and definitely a little more or a lot more freedom. Also, that even these small insignificant changes have or are risk. And lastly, what is needed with risk is a little bit of faith that the outcome will be positive.

I will use a current situation to give you an example of my points above. I have an autoimmune disease, which means I have a pre-existing condition. My last insurance expired approximately a month ago. In the months leading up to it’s expiration, I felt like the victim to a system of competing powers, neither of which, was keeping a person like me in mind; so it seems. I could be wrong. You see, it did not matter whether I went direct to the insurance provider or through the governments website, they both were the same policy. A policy, at a cost I could not afford, based on my income or lack there of, with a deductible higher then the price of a compact car. Add to this, the policy would not cover any of my doctors, hospitals, clinics, and only two of my cheapest prescriptions. What was I going to do??

First and foremost, I was going to have to let go of the fear, anger, and feeling of being a victim of a system, I may not be happy with. Once I could manage to do that, I could realize that I did have other options. And with each option, came risks and costs, some of which were going to be non-monetary. All I knew is I couldn’t stay so paralyzed in how I felt any longer. I decided to have a little faith in God to help keep me protected, a little faith in myself to be confident and fearless in making decisions that would bring about changes and consequences, and finally faith in my fellow human beings to do the right thing and help or work with me, when and if I needed it.

So, here I am, and I survived that first decision to stop feeling like a victim. That led me to a second decision, which was to take a little time to weigh the plus and minuses of each choice I had in front of me. Doing that, lead me to making a decision that saved me financially, allowed me to keep my doctors, medical facilities, pharmacy, etc., and gave me a greater sense of freedom, like the constraints and restraints had been removed. Now, there are definite consequences to my decisions, that I hope will not cause me great pains in the future. With all risk there is a possibility of that happening. But, there is also a possibility that I gain much as well. At least I know one thing I have gained already, that is the knowledge that choosing to not be a victim, allows me the freedom to do what I want and become who I want.

My hope for you, is that if you too feel victimized, you find a way to take that first step out towards freedom, to find faith in God, yourself, and the rest of us. It may not be an easy journey or a quick one, but as they say, it can and will be worth it. Good Luck, Good Love, and if you want to add commentary, thoughts, or your own example, please do. Rest assured someone is here waiting for you to join in.