Category: The Spirituality Center

For the last several years, I have written about not choosing a New Years resolution, instead choosing a word I try to live by for that year. In past years, I chose words like giving and joy. This year, after the year we just came through, and anticipating, expected or unexpected, things continuing to happen, I have chosen the word… Courage. You see, I have recognized that God, the universe, or whatever you believe in, has filled my life with people that have protected me in many ways, as I have loved so deeply and given my heart so freely. I could never ever be more thankful for them. Many are still in my life, most completely supportive of my efforts to still love freely, yet learn to protect myself at the same time. I will always need them, their strength, their guidance, and their support, however, I hope to continue to gain the courage to stand with them, instead of having them shield me.

As I chose my word this year, I came across a friend’s post that I wanted to share, because in my eyes, she is the epitome of my word. She has been battling cancer and was told that she had only a few years. I often wonder, who I would be, or what I would do given that same knowledge. She has been a picture of grace, joy, love, and courage. I truly hope she does not mind me sharing her words, as I think we all could use a good dose of what she wrote. She has been through one year, and posted this at the beginning of this year: “This is THE year… THE year that I am going to live life to the fullest.. THE year I am going to love unconditionally.. THE year that I am going to be brave.. THE year that I defy the odds.. THE year that I am going to continue to have faith and hope..”. My additional thought, I hope we all have the same THE year.

Last night, before I could find the time to come to write this, I was in a class in which one topic was our word for the year. A member of the class began chatting with me privately. In our conversation, I mentioned my word was courage. She asked “What do you think you need courage for”? I responded, “To speak up and stand up for myself at my job, when some are trying to push me down or hold me back, to write more often on my blog about things that raise my passion, to finish my book, and I think most importantly, to be unabashedly me.” In this class, we also discussed the number values of our year. I am in an 8 year according to astrologists. An 8 year is a year of perseverance, success, and energy. So my addition to my private chatter, was “maybe I need courage to not be afraid to succeed anymore, and courage to know my worth and be financially paid for it.”

I will leave you with this, I do not know what is to come in my year, but I will try my hardest to gain the courage to stand up to it, unabashedly and unafraid. Whether that be for myself, for someone else in my life, or for a complete stranger. May we all be courageous in the things that will come this year, and may we all face, with courage, the things that hold us back from being the beings of love, we were created to be. Love and light to you all. As always, feel free to comment, your thoughts are a welcome addition.

As I begin to write this, two things come to mind: The first, that if you are in a country other than the United States, you may not celebrate Thanksgiving. It is a day that many here gather, with family and friends, to give gratitude for the many blessings they have in their lives. This year, whether by choice for the consideration of ones health, or fear of getting sick or passing on sickness, or giving up power to someone other than God and ourselves, we are a lot more separated. That does not mean, no matter where we are in this world, we cannot be thankful for blessings in our lives. The second thing on my mind, is the privacy of my family, when I choose to speak and write about things from my perspective. I hope to never dishonor them or to go too far in telling my truth that it causes them harm.

I woke up this morning thinking about my dad and reliving thankful memories. I suppose I inherited from my father, my ability to open up about my life and become very vulnerable in letting others know my story. As did he with strangers in grocery stores, at the beach, well just about anywhere. It drove my mother nuts, how he would tell complete strangers about his kids, and home, and the things that mattered to him. I suppose that is why I need to remember balance in divulging, and at the same time, keep my siblings in mind.

With that said, my father passed away four years ago one week before Thanksgiving. He had suffered from dementia and his heart was failing. That last year my siblings knew it had to be getting close, but no one knew when. I don’t know if the last several years were harder on them, having to caretake for him and watch him deteriorate, or on me so far away, wondering would this be the phone call he would not know who I was, or would this be the time I went home for a visit and I would be a complete stranger. I was fortunate that my father never forgot me. Even on that last visit, you could see him light up like a Christmas tree when I came into eyesight. He was no longer speaking then, but just watching our every move. The next time I came home, would be to say my goodbyes. My siblings and I discussed, how they wondered why my father held on for so long with a heart barely beating, and why he would die at that time. I told them I knew. You see, I had not spent one holiday with my family in years, possibly even decades. Dad knew he had to bring me home at a time when families gather and count their blessings. Although that was a sad Thanksgiving for us all, it was great to be home with my family; eating turkey and counting blessings.

Not being near or with my family again this year, I suppose dad is again bringing me to them in spirit. This morning I woke up remembering how my family would go to the mall, and my dad and I would sit on a bench, people watch, and wait for everyone to complete their shopping. I remembered crying when Frosty melted as a child, and watching my father cry when Frosty melted as he aged. I remembered him taking us on hikes in the woods, and teaching us how to figure eight, on ice skates, on the frozen lake in the winter. Some years he would even wet down our back yard just before a freeze, so we could skate in our own back yard. I would bring him his lunch at work, and be volunteered to run to pick up meals for his coworkers at the diner down the street. I remembered the many camping trips, and trips to the beach. And hopefully my mother will not get mad in heaven, but the trips to the local bar so he could have a beer and I could have a Shirley Temple.. Those were treats for us both. So many memories to be thankful for.

Now my life, like all of yours, has not been all roses. I am just trying to make a conscious effort to remember the good and throw the bad by the wayside. I will never forget the bad, as it has all been learning lessons for me. Even if the lesson is do not ever repeat this. So my hope for you today, is that you find a way to throw your bad memories by the wayside, and remember the good and be thankful. And if by some chance, you think there are no good memories, then I hope you try to make a good one today and tomorrow be thankful for it. Feel free to share some memories you are thankful for, if not with us here, than with someone who has your heart. Love and Light to you all – no matter where you are in this world.

I have been struggling this morning with how to begin this post. Truth is… I have said the same exact thing, in two separate circumstances, to two very different people this week. Now, as I was about to say it again, I thought maybe I needed to reach a broader audience. So here I am. I will tell you what it is that I said and then give you the circumstances in which I said it. To quote myself, “Many of us wonder what our purpose is on this planet. Our purpose is to affect those that we are supposed to affect, in the way we are supposed to affect them”. This is why I have a website that asks to keep it positive. I always want to affect someone in a positive way, a gracious way, if I can help it.

In the first circumstance, the person I was having a conversation with bluntly told me of the necessity of chaos, negativity, and darkness for balance. Is that the truth?? I do not know. Maybe it has been and does it still need to be?? I would like to think that we can be higher beings. Anyway back to our discussion. This person asked me why I was holding myself back. It was someone I could tell, although they said as much, who thought the job we were doing was beneath them. They began to talk about their purpose and their goals as being one and the same. Finding out my education, they wondered why I was not somewhere making more money, somewhere further up the chain. That is when I began to talk about the difference between my goals and my purpose, and the use of my entire skill set. I do not think they got what I was trying to say. Yet, I did take the opportunity to plant some seeds. One – never feel like you are too good for any job ever and two – never feel like you are better or above anyone else. You see I am learning discipline to achieve goals that I have set for myself. But, I am keeping in mind my actions, my reactions, and the words I use, in hopes of affecting those I am supposed to effect in a more positive way. I do usually love to quote the dictionary on meanings of words. This time the dictionary has the definitions of goals and purpose as far too similar. I wish to make the distinction between my goals on this concrete plane, and my purpose on this planet and in this universe on a soul level.

This leads me to my second conversation, in which I used that statement. There are a few people I work with; I call my soul sisters or my high vibers. I recognize them and their vibe as soon as I walk in the door. I do not even need to see them. A few days ago, I woke up with this dreadful feeling like insanity was trying to overtake everyone. A feeling of wondering how anyone is able to fight becoming mentally ill with the amount of blatant lies, negativity, chaos, lack of morality, etc. going on around them. One of these women stepped in front of me that morning and I just began to speak. I looked at her and said “I know exactly how you are feeling today, this is how I woke up feeling” and I proceeded to describe my morning. Her response “Oh My God – you see I have my headphones in today, to avoid contact with anyone, to shut out the entire negative”. I told her “do not do that, you do not know who needs you to be a light in their day, or who will be a light in yours”. I told her about my belief in what our purpose is. She then said “I was supposed to definitely hear you today”. We continued with our conversation a little longer both recognizing what we needed to hear from each other, both recognizing our purpose in effecting each other.

To the person I was going to comment to this morning, who posted that they were feeling hopeless, that they had the personality that they can save everyone. I hear you, I am the same. I realize, more each day, that I cannot also. It tears me up as well, as I cry for humanities sake. Your advice to just love on your loved ones that is going through something is sound advice. None of us feel like we are doing enough. I will add maybe we all just need to choose love period. Not say it, but do it. I want you and others to read what happened to me on that day I woke up with those feelings. Maybe it will help you feel less hopeless. Please know you will affect those that you are supposed to affect in this world. I just ask that you consider affecting them all in a positive way. Even if they do not receive what it is you are trying to get to them, plant the seed and walk away. What is supposed to happen to them will come about based on their own individual choices. That is all any of us can do and all we are supposed to do.

I am fortunate to be firmly grounded in my faith, and each day I am more recognizing the everyday miracles that are set before me. After awaking with the feeling I felt the other day, I prayed to my creator and I asked my spirit team to help rid me of such feelings. I also asked to have help in transmuting it to a positive energy before it was expelled from my person. Funny, how life is… the first person that approached me at work, was a customer that a few of us had helped a while back. He had been put in a situation that ended up in a court of law and this could very well have hurt him work wise. He gave me an update. Others who had been asking for something to change had backed him in this lawsuit. He came out the victor and his record remains clean. He had to make some new purchases, but things were getting back on track and he was doing well. He asked if I remembered him and said he just wanted to stop and thank me again for all I had done to help him in his prior situation. I held back tears in my first hour that day, but I so recognized that every single customer in front of me was giving me the best that humanity had to offer and was little by little removing this feeling from me in very positive ways. They all allowed me laughter, joy, gratitude, etc. before I knew it, that feeling was gone.

I will leave you all with this. Please consider how you affect others, and please try to affect them in positive ways. The rest is up to them and their choices.. Peace, love, and light to you all.

As I awoke this morning, my head kept repeating; “Oh the mother and child reunion is only a heartbeat away”. I remember nothing else, but this. And like most humans my first thought went immediately to the negative. Crap… if my mother and my husband’s mother are both deceased, than which one of us is going to die? Then I said to myself, “Why do I think like that? Why does that have to be the thought? Why can’t I think it is more positive? Why didn’t I go to the spiritual instead of the physical?”

I suppose that was my first thought, because in my journey I am recognizing the programming that has been there my whole life. Click on the TV, computer, or phone, and see how much positive is out there. We live a life bombarded with negativity, and all of it effects our body, mind, and soul. And when we pass that forward, the damage we do to others is immeasurable. I am trying to refuse to do that here, bombard anyone with negativity. Maybe I am even trying an attempt at making myself and others whole again. Making an attempt to see possibility.

The more I thought about it, the more I said “if my mother is only a heart beat away, she must really be waiting for me to open my heart to her presence in my day”. She must be waiting for me to realize she is with me every step. I do not acknowledge that, as much as I do my dad. Just yesterday I told some customers that I am my fathers child. That like him, I will tell complete strangers my life story in ten minutes. He is the reason I say “I’ve never met a stranger, that wasn’t my friend”. There are things I love because of him. Things he used to do with us or taught us, like ice skating, investigating the woods, camping, sports, talking, walking, and the list could go on. Today I realized I do not give my mother as much recognition in my days. So if I do not invite her in, how could she be there??

It is entirely possible that I avoid bringing my mother into my days because I begin to feel heartbreak, and think of things I need to heal from, or she needs to heal from, or both. My heart breaks knowing that my mother’s childhood was robbed by a man who was supposed to love her. That meant we were not taught by her, some of the things we should have been. We were not shown some of the affection in ways we maybe wanted. I learned long ago that we still learned what we needed to from other sources, and maybe we still are. Speaking for myself, and getting over expectations, the affection I thought I needed, I received. Moving far away meant limited visits for many years. Then one day word arrives that her physical time on Earth was running short. I can still hear the hospice persons’s words ringing in my ears “there are very few human beings who could endure the amount of pain your mother is putting herself through to stay coherent enough to visit with you”. What would that do to your heart? Knowing your mother was enduring the unthinkable, AGAIN. My mother passed a month or so later.

Today I took a huge step and invited my mother in and yes I cried as I walked and relived some of those thoughts. But, then when I looked for the positive, I remembered something so so important. My mother used to invite children that she recognized in similar situations to her upbringing, or children less fortunate, or ones in dire need of some stability, into our lives. I guess I didn’t realize then, that even if my mother couldn’t change their life circumstances or outcomes, she could certainly provide them with moments of joy, fun, laughter, peace, and love. She could show them possibility. I came to that realization myself about ten years ago. A brief moment of any and all of those things injected into someone’s day can change the course of a life forever. Thank you mom for helping me remember this. Thank you for the much needed mother and child reunion. You have no idea how much it meant. I promise I will invite you in more often.

I will leave you with this dear readers; love is the one thing that never ever dies. Remember to let it in. The message it brings may just change your course. You may just be reminded of the things we should be bombarding each other with — joy, fun, laughter, peace, and above all else – LOVE.. If you have thoughts or comments feel free to leave them. Even better, feel free to start a positive conversation.

Hello all.. I’m back and still trying to change bad habits and break old cycles. Wondering when will I learn. I suppose I am still trying to find my path, where I fit in, and what it is I should be doing. Or knowing what all that is and still not making the necessary changes to achieve success. I have been out here so infrequently, as I admittedly, am having a hard time learning how to find balance between work, home, relaxation, and passion. Truth is I enjoy being around people, having discussions with people, making them think, laugh, smile, etc.. With my job I get that person to person direct, and recognize what is needed from them to me and vice versa.. Other parts of my job, however, bring me to emotional places I do not enjoy at all. Yesterday, was one of those days. Sadly, even my peeps, I like to call them, could not raise me up to a better place.. It was a non-joyous struggle that I eventually did make through. I am sure many of you can relate.

When I think about yesterday, I say to myself “I wish I could have been more grateful for the day I was given”. Then I remembered a discussion with a coworker last week. She was having an awful day, and I said “try to be thankful for something and you may find your day getting better”. Her reply “I have nothing to be thankful for”. To which I said “how about the fact you were able to get out of bed this morning, start there”. My own words coming back to bite me in the….. Well you know.

This morning, I got back to something I have been failing at lately; writing in my gratitude journal. I learned a few years ago, the necessity, in taking time to write at least five things I am grateful for each day. Doing this brings me to a better place; to a place of recognition of all the positives, of all the possibilities, and to a place of love, peace, joy, and harmony. You will not believe how starting your day this way can open your eyes to a brand new world. May I suggest, if you do not do it already, you give it a try.

For those who have never done it before, I thought I would share with you what today’s were for me. Remember nothing is too small or too large, it is all about your heart space and putting it in a better place. You will be surprised how quickly five turns into ten, and so on. Doing this helps you to see more, to be more, and to do more. It even helps you to recognize when you are swaying away from the positive and more quickly puts you back on path. So glad I made a course correction this morning, it brought me to a heart space of doing something I love, writing for all of you to read, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

So my five for today: First, and foremost, I thanked God (my creator, universal source, whatever your name for him/her is) for another day full of possibilities – a blank slate for me to write or draw on. Second, I thanked God for helping me to hold my tongue last night – for the self control to not speak some things I knew I would regret later. Third, I thanked God for my husband. He takes care of me in more ways than I like to admit – housework, yard work, cooking, cleaning… what doesn’t he do. Forth, I thanked God for the courage to stand up for myself more often. For the ability to speak my truth, and yet still be open enough to hear someone else’s. And fifth, last but certainly not least, I thanked God for my creative spirit – the song in my voice, the dance in my step, and the love and joy in my heart.

These were my five today. Your’s can be far simpler and more material if you are a beginner. When I first started, it was my morning coffee. Some days it still is. You are invited to share yours with all of us if you so desire. If you are not ready for that, it is my hope that you will at least consider starting somewhere. Trust me I have met people who are so worn down by life that it was a struggle to come up with one. Some people I have helped recognize their first one and then off to the races they went. I am so okay with baby steps in right directions or more positive directions. Try it, you just may like it, and you just may see that there truly is a light at the end of a dark tunnel. It may take some time to traverse it, but the attitude of gratitude, does illuminate the dark tunnel to make for easier passage. I hope you find that out for yourself. Until next time…. Light, Love, and Gratitude. Tomorrow I will be thankful for you.