HOPE..

It is my belief that each of our lives has been full of tragedies, small and large disappointments, and loss. When these happen, we end up in a dark place of fear, anger, hate, or grief. The larger these are, the deeper into this dark place we fall. The more intimate the loss, the greater the grief. Sometimes we are so deep into this darkness and grief that it seems we will never find our way out. We must somehow try. Each day we must try to find a way to hope for a better tomorrow, to hope that we will find our way out of the darkness.

What is hope? Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines it as “to desire with  expectation of fulfillment, to long for with expectation of attainment”.  Hope is not anything someone can give us, or promise us. It is a place that we ourselves must find a way to reach in our own lives. Others may help guide us to a place of hope, by showing us beauty, light, love, support, laughter, kindness, and anything that is good in life. We, however, must desire to be their ourselves. We must have the drive and determination to get there. Once we are there, slowly we can find our way out of the darkness. The journey begins by hoping for the smaller, simpler things and increasing the size and intensity the closer we are to the light.

Recently I was reminded, in conversations, of some of the dark things that occurred in my past. I allowed my memory to take me on a journey back, not because I wanted to again end up in a place of darkness, or relive my grief, but instead to remind myself of my moments of hope. Hope for help to arrive in a bad situation, hope that a boy would one day find me attractive, hope that a man would one day love all of me, hope that I might find best friends to replace ones that were lost, hope to remain safe in travels, hope for a better job, hope for more money, hope for a nicer car and home, hope that I never stop learning, and hope that I one day finally realize, and truly believe to my core, that I am worthy.

In my journey back, do you know what I realized? That in my dark times I was so closed and alone that nothing could penetrate the bubble or wall I had built around myself. In my times of hope just the opposite occurred. In my times of hope I found help arriving in sometimes unexpected and unusual ways from really unexpected people. I found the most awesome and wonderful of people came into my life and truly loved me, even if that time of love was temporary. I found better jobs, made more money, had nicer things and realized that many of those things were so unimportant in my life. Some of my hopes I am still working on. I truly do hope to never stop learning and growing as a person. And although it took me a very long time to believe that I am worthy, I have also found, it is a constant battle to remain in that mindset. And so I continue to have hope to always know and value my worth in every and all situations.

I am here to let you know, that you definitely are not alone. To remind each of us that with a little love we can help each other find the hope that we need to live and walk fully in the sun. I am not saying there will not be tragedy or loss. I am only saying that in those times, if you or I can get there, to hope, the things we need, the things that will add beauty, joy, and light to our lives will be able to find their way in. But you, like me, must be open to their arrival and that requires hope.

So are you hopeful? What are some of your hopes? Do you need help finding hope? Please let us know