Okay everyone, I am going to get to discussing other things like cars, fishing, perfume, motorcycles, makeup, guns, news events, etc., but wanted to tackle these three topics first. For I believe they are important in how we apply them in living our daily lives. How and when we choose to feel or react to these feelings affects every situation, every human contact, and every thing period.
As I see it, we are living in a world where we are outwardly expressing these to an extreme. For when is it okay to take a sign that has the word love on it and swing it at another human being in anger? If you want to use the word love, shouldn’t you show the word love? And when is it okay to record on video another human being drowning and be so apathetic that you do nothing, but watch them die? Was I doing or showing any of this? I certainly hope not. But, it did occur to me that I needed to define, redefine, or relearn what each one of these words meant. Only then would I be able to make a positive change in myself and my world. I hope you will walk with me while I do this. Maybe we can learn from each other.
You may have noticed that I mentioned part 1 in the title. This is because handling all three of these in one post is way too daunting of a task. It may even be too daunting to attempt to handle them one at a time, but, I shall try. Let’s begin with a story and my thoughts on love.
One afternoon when I was sixteen years old, my mother handed me a note as I arrived home from school. I have no idea why, and I suppose I never really wanted to or thought to ask her. I have carried this note with me, in my wallet, every day since. Throughout my life, I have periodically taken it out to read it, even more so lately. It helps me to think about what love is or what I think love is supposed to be. But, I have always only looked at it in the viewpoint of my relationships with my significant others. As written, it seems that is what it was meant for. I think if you minus a few words it can apply to every person we say those words to including friends and family.
I believe my mother may have copied it from a Dear Abby column, but I’m not sure. I have since tried to research whose quote this is as I always want to extend credit to the author. I will quote the author that I repeatedly found credited for it throughout the years. Her name is Laura Hendricks. The quote goes something like this: “What is love? Love is friendship caught fire; it is quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicles of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough.”
I also looked up the meaning of love. Wikipedia defines love in this way: “love is a variety of different emotional and mental states, typically strongly and positively experienced, that ranges from deepest interpersonal affection to simple pleasure.” and Merriam-Webster defines it as: “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. or warm attachment, enthusiasm, devotion, or admiration, or unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.”
Whatever the meaning, for me, love comes in many shapes and sizes, and in many depths and levels. Its appearance in my life has taught me that if I am willing to endure the pain that comes with its loss, that it will eventually heal that wound and make up for what again is missing. I never did thank my mother for that note. So mom, although I thanked you for many gifts you gave me over the years, I want you to know wherever you are (I’m sure looking over all of us) that note was by far one of the best gifts you could have ever given me – Thank You MOM and I love you.
Because I think not one of us has all the answers, I am eager to hear what you think love is or what your thoughts are on the topic of love. I will look forward to reading your comments as I try to wrap my mind around the other two words and put pen to paper for part 2.
They say love is blind but I disagree. I am not blind to the faults of those I love. I think love is more like acceptance. About taking the “bad” with the good. About looking at the whole person and accepting who they are in that moment. Love is finally understanding that it’s our flaws that make us perfect. That instead of loving a person despite their “flaws”, we stop looking at them as a balance sheet full of good and bad.
You are an Old Soul Laura. Love is not tossed around in my life. Love is a blessing which I am very blessed to have it and give it. I see it all around me….Love is patience, love is kind. This is what I learned growing up and now I know it and practice it.
To me, in order to define love I must distinguish it from want. I think they’re often mistaken for one another. A key difference is the polarity of these examples. Want urges us to take something in, similar to hunger or thirst. When satiate it provides temporary satisfaction, maybe even happiness.
Love on the other hand is a radiating outward emotion. Sometimes it’s easy and some times it’s hard to choose actions appropriate to express this emotion. Even in its subtlest form, feeling it’s presence makes changes in the self that positively impact the world.
I suppose in a nutshell I’d have to say love is putting someone or something else’s needs before my own and considering how my state of being impacts others and the environment at large.
What is love? To me, love is simple unsolicited acts of kindness towards another soul, just because you care.
Example: My husband was scheduled for a colonoscopy. The day before his procedure I brought home the softest toilet paper I could find and left it in the bathroom. Our normal stock on hand was a low grade very inexpensive brand. He came home from work and started his preparation and found the toilet paper. He got very emotional about it. Apparently, no one before me did anything for him, without being asked, or without wanting something in return. I only wanted him to be comfortable. To him, it was love in the truest sense. A very small gesture on my part turned out to be an unforgettable moment in time for him.