I AM BACK.. And possibly will fluctuate in and out for a short while.. As I am finding that sometimes I just have to go it alone and bring you the information later, even though I really enjoy bringing you along my journey. I apologize that I have been away for so long, and thank you for being patient in awaiting my return. One day I will have this place the way I want it, I am determined to do that. I think it is needed. For now, however, there are other projects and life happenings that I must also squeeze in. Please do forgive me for any vacancies that occur in the interim.
To let you know where I have been and actually still am, I am back where it all began. I am with my siblings in the place I was born, staying in the house I grew up in. I came here to see them as I do not do that often enough. I came here to attend some family functions; a camping trip (in tents by the way-we are hardy, so no RV for us), a family reunion, and a wedding. I came here because being with them is always an adventure and fun. More than any of these reasons, I came here because my intuition told me I needed to. It told me that I would need the help I was to receive in moving forward. Prior to my journey here, for me this meant working on my book, or getting my blog to where I dream I want it. I never ever dreamed I would need help in ways I didn’t recognize I did. Of course, as it always does, it came in forms I never expected. One of these is realizing gifts that I have always had and been afraid to use. Sadly, I have been relying on others and know it is now time for me to use what I have been given.
Take for instance something I think all started coming out of the womb. I was a breach baby. Not a breach in one that comes out feet first. Oh no, I was holding on for dear life as my mom tried to push me out butt first. Since then I have always said that I was born under the sign of Cancer-the crab, and am truly one. Soft and sensitive to the core when I am out and about; retreating to my shell in any sign of danger. I do love my shell, my home, my safe spaces. I feel security in them. But, is there really security there or is it an illusion. Because the one thing crabs have that I have always been reluctant to use, are claws or pincers.
On this trip, I am realizing how dynamic life is to have provided me with many people who have loved, and do love me, that truly are fighters. These people have protected me for a very long time. Some have even tried to teach me necessary things for my own protection. I have kept their teachings in my mind and have always hoped not to have to use them. What I didn’t realize is that by not using them everyday or not wanting to use them at all, I was doing damage to myself and others. I still am reluctant to use my pincers or what I have been taught, but I am armed now with the knowledge that protecting myself, when it is necessary, is not me going out looking to harm others and there is a big big difference in that fact.
To pass a few things on, if you are like me, not realizing gifts, or needing to recognize that there is a difference between protecting yourself and harming others, I will tell you what I have learned. That is, that protecting yourself comes from a place of love and is necessary for survival, while harming others comes from a place of hate, and repercussions of that are never pleasant. So if you find the need to protect yourself, and are searching for the knowledge of your gift, just look to the sign you were born under to know what that is. I have pincers and a shell, some of you have horns, spikes, stingers, strength and size, a second nature, the ability to judge fairly, knowledge, the ability to blend in, and yes even innocence. Recognize what it is you have and do not be afraid to use it to protect yourself; life can be ugly and sometimes a cage fight.
Rest assured, with all that I am learning here, if the circumstance presents itself for me to have to protect myself, oh I will. And if the battle is one I cannot handle on my own, then I will call in my friends who have always been there for me. I think, however, it is time I give them a break. It is time I realize that sometimes in life, the battle is mine to be won or lost. And to further realize that if the battle is lost, than that is a road I was not meant to be on, or to take, and that a redirection of course is necessary. Redirection, something else I am learning to accomplish and will leave for future blog posts.
So whether you are someone who already knows and uses their gifts, or someone learning like me, or someone yet to learn, does not matter. If you are here, I hope that you will take part and share your knowledge, and/or experience. And I further hope any comments left will be of benefit to us all. If nothing else, just a new perspective. Thank you for coming and as always I invite you to join in when you are ready. Until next time I am riding the waves, shell intact and now claws up.