As teenagers we were asked by our high school to write a favorite quote to be placed in our yearbook with our pictures. My favorite quote then is still my favorite quote today, and something that took me years to live by. Although admittedly there are times, though they may be few, that I have to remind myself of this quote and reapply it to my life. The quote by Rabbi Hyman Schachtel goes something like this: “Happiness is not in having what you want. It is in wanting what you have”.
Now Webster’s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary defines happiness this way: “1. good fortune;prosperity-2. a state of well-being and contentment; a pleasurable satisfaction-3.aptness;felicity”. Now I did not have an unhappy childhood, teen years, or even early adulthood, per se, I just became more aware that I was not living my quote the older I got. I think somewhere in my early 30s I really thought about that quote and said to myself, am I really grateful for what I do have. When I started to live my life in that way, wanting what I had, instead of having what I wanted, I reached a level of happiness I had never felt before. And everyday since, I try to remind myself how lucky I am and grateful I am for everything I have, and am blessed with, and that makes me truly happy.
I even used it in a conversation with someone just yesterday. What was said to me yesterday is that I let people walk all over me at times and that has kept me from being successful. I asked the person who said that to me to kindly define success. Well, Webster’s Seventh Collegiate Dictionary defines it in this way: “1. outcome;result-2. degree or measure of succeeding;a favorable termination of a venture;the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence-3. one that succeeds”. Now I knew this was not a put down of me, more that this person defined success the way the dictionary did. And I sometimes like to live by my own definition.
So I told them, “you may be correct in that I do let people walk all over me at times. But, during those periods I learn such things as strength, resilience, fortitude, and I will even add the word compassion”. I went on to say “I have a home that I love, I am loving, compassionate, and generous. I have a man, a family, and many friends in my life that are also all of those things. Do you not think that is not success? I am far happier than I bet some of these billionaires are. Because they will always want for more”. They looked at me and said I guess you are right.
Trust me, it is not about being right or wrong. It is about living a happy life and redefining some of the words that society makes you feel you have to be. When I stopped looking at myself as a failure for not becoming say a manager, or moving up some corporate ladder, and started to see that I had so many wonderful, beautiful things in my life, I started to realize how truly happy, blessed, and successful I am. And all the money in the world will never change that or take that away from me. So when someone or yourself tries to make you feel less than anything you think you are or should be, wipe that thought out of your head and realize the beauty you have and that surrounds you. Try to be thankful for that.
In closing, I will leave you with another quote I found for all of us to think about. It may even become my new favorite, or at least among the top. It is a quote about happiness from Democritus. It goes like this: “Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul”.