Thankful Memories

As I begin to write this, two things come to mind: The first, that if you are in a country other than the United States, you may not celebrate Thanksgiving. It is a day that many here gather, with family and friends, to give gratitude for the many blessings they have in their lives. This year, whether by choice for the consideration of ones health, or fear of getting sick or passing on sickness, or giving up power to someone other than God and ourselves, we are a lot more separated. That does not mean, no matter where we are in this world, we cannot be thankful for blessings in our lives. The second thing on my mind, is the privacy of my family, when I choose to speak and write about things from my perspective. I hope to never dishonor them or to go too far in telling my truth that it causes them harm.

I woke up this morning thinking about my dad and reliving thankful memories. I suppose I inherited from my father, my ability to open up about my life and become very vulnerable in letting others know my story. As did he with strangers in grocery stores, at the beach, well just about anywhere. It drove my mother nuts, how he would tell complete strangers about his kids, and home, and the things that mattered to him. I suppose that is why I need to remember balance in divulging, and at the same time, keep my siblings in mind.

With that said, my father passed away four years ago one week before Thanksgiving. He had suffered from dementia and his heart was failing. That last year my siblings knew it had to be getting close, but no one knew when. I don’t know if the last several years were harder on them, having to caretake for him and watch him deteriorate, or on me so far away, wondering would this be the phone call he would not know who I was, or would this be the time I went home for a visit and I would be a complete stranger. I was fortunate that my father never forgot me. Even on that last visit, you could see him light up like a Christmas tree when I came into eyesight. He was no longer speaking then, but just watching our every move. The next time I came home, would be to say my goodbyes. My siblings and I discussed, how they wondered why my father held on for so long with a heart barely beating, and why he would die at that time. I told them I knew. You see, I had not spent one holiday with my family in years, possibly even decades. Dad knew he had to bring me home at a time when families gather and count their blessings. Although that was a sad Thanksgiving for us all, it was great to be home with my family; eating turkey and counting blessings.

Not being near or with my family again this year, I suppose dad is again bringing me to them in spirit. This morning I woke up remembering how my family would go to the mall, and my dad and I would sit on a bench, people watch, and wait for everyone to complete their shopping. I remembered crying when Frosty melted as a child, and watching my father cry when Frosty melted as he aged. I remembered him taking us on hikes in the woods, and teaching us how to figure eight, on ice skates, on the frozen lake in the winter. Some years he would even wet down our back yard just before a freeze, so we could skate in our own back yard. I would bring him his lunch at work, and be volunteered to run to pick up meals for his coworkers at the diner down the street. I remembered the many camping trips, and trips to the beach. And hopefully my mother will not get mad in heaven, but the trips to the local bar so he could have a beer and I could have a Shirley Temple.. Those were treats for us both. So many memories to be thankful for.

Now my life, like all of yours, has not been all roses. I am just trying to make a conscious effort to remember the good and throw the bad by the wayside. I will never forget the bad, as it has all been learning lessons for me. Even if the lesson is do not ever repeat this. So my hope for you today, is that you find a way to throw your bad memories by the wayside, and remember the good and be thankful. And if by some chance, you think there are no good memories, then I hope you try to make a good one today and tomorrow be thankful for it. Feel free to share some memories you are thankful for, if not with us here, than with someone who has your heart. Love and Light to you all – no matter where you are in this world.