Something recently reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my sisters last year. We were discussing major problems, as we saw them, in and with the country we choose to live in. She stated to me that she thought mental health was a big issue; I agreed. Not my number one though, I told her. Mental health is a big issue and one I hope to address in a future blog post. But, when I mentioned to her what I thought was high on the list she said oh yeah. So today, I want to discuss something close if not my number one. I want to discuss the huge lack of personal responsibility prevalent in today’s society.
I’ll begin by mentioning a story that I wrote several years ago. I called it The Blame Game. It was an anecdotal tale of the goings on of eleven kids and how at times one or a group of us would do something and let others in the family take the blame, or we would flat-out blame others, or we would be punished for or accept blame for things other family members did. I am sure most of you can relate. I sent this story to a brother of mine to review and provide his thoughts. His first words were “WOW! what a bold topic.” I remember those words as if it was yesterday. It was a bold topic. But, was my story bold? Was I taking on the topic as I should? Was I being thought-provoking? Well, my answer to all those questions was a resounding NO. I still might not take the topic on as I should, but I am going to try to hit the surface at least.
The blame game is something we play, knowingly or not, when we either refuse to, do not want to, or just plain do not…. take personal responsibility for ourselves and the choices we make. I say knowingly or not, as I feel sometimes we do not think about, do not expect, or do not want a consequence that comes about through a choice we made. Maybe we just did not think about all the “what ifs” before we did something. Maybe we just did not take responsibility because we never knew what the outcome was. Did it mean we did not care? or were we just not paying enough attention? I do not know, maybe you do. Still there are other times I feel we know exactly what we are doing and we get the exact reaction we expect. Then we act like we did not know what was going to happen and outright blame someone else. What does that say about us and who we are? Well guess what, all of it is definitely not a game.
I may never know some of the events my choices have brought about. But, as long as, I am willing to take ownership when they present themselves, whether good or bad, then that is how it should be. And if I take the time to think about the “what ifs” and consider all possible outcomes and am willing to accept any consequences, should they arise, for my actions, then that too is as it should be. What should not be, is me taking action in which there are no consequences should things go horribly wrong. The latter is how societal breakdown and chaos ensue.
Personal responsibility begins with me and it should begin with you too. Not only in the small daily little things, but also in the enormous things we are entrusted with. Things, like a nation of laws that we are not only allowed to participate in, but are implored, maybe even required to participate in. Take for example, what happens if I am a bully as a child and there are no consequences for my actions? Chances are I become a bully in my adulthood. What happens if there are still no consequences? What happens if there is a death as a result of my bullying and I am not held accountable? How could any place survive? Or how could I even expect any place to survive if things like that happen? If we do not hold ourselves accountable for our own actions, how can we hold anyone else accountable for theirs?
Maybe it is time to make a change. Maybe it is time we start holding ourselves and each other accountable for our decisions, choices, etc. I am willing to step up and take my good and bad in this ride called life. Are you willing to join me? I’ll leave you with some quotes as food for thought. When your done reading and thinking, I hope you will leave all of us some of your own food for thought. The following quotes are compliments of www.goodreads.com:
“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado, or loneliness. It consists in daring to do the right thing and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political, or other. It consists in deeds not words.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make ultimately our own responsibility.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
“We must reject the idea that every time a law is broken, society is guilty rather than the law-breaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his/her actions.” ~ Ronald Reagan
I do not think I would use the word criticism or if I did, I would maybe say constructive criticism. The statement “Wow, what a bold topic” I took more as a compliment – that I had the tenacity to approach something of such magnitude. When I received the overall critique of the first story, it made me think that the person’s critique had merit and possibly might have been spot on. And if I call it constructive criticism and take their points as valid, then it served it’s purpose to make me look deeper or go deeper into the topic. I hope I accomplished that in this small version of a re-write.
I agree, blame occurs in the absence of personal responsibility.
I was wondering….with regards to your brother’s comment about this being a bold topic, did you experience it as a criticism or a compliment? How did you take it?